Gym Stories – Two Weeks In

My impossibly fit trainer says I am doing well. Doing better. Whatever. Muscles still hurt after each session and I attribute that to him piling on the weight at every opportunity.

“I want to see you fail” he says. And with a horrible grimace as I make a supreme but ineffectual effort, I do just that.

I still feel like a 98 pound weakling looking for that Charles Atlas ad at the back of the comic book.

Wanting to understand a bit more of the gym culture, being as it is somewhat foreign to me, I looked up gym locker room etiquette and found this great article: which made me chuckle.

At “my” gym, you see, there is a lot of blow drying going on and while I haven’t seen anyone blow drying their pubes (mentioned as a potential faux pas in the article mentioned above) I have observed the earnest (this is when you blow dry with one hand and run the other hand through the hair being dried all the while staring earnestly at yourself in a mirror) drying of chest hair, arm hair, leg hair and just this morning, feet. Yes, someone was drying their feet with the blow dryer, just prior to putting on FLIP FLOPS. How dry do your feet have to be when putting on flip flops anyway?

Anyway, in spite of all that OCD blow-drying and the extra weight from the trainer who wants me to fail, I am not ready to call it quits just yet.

As Arnold famously said, I’ll be back.


3 thoughts on “Gym Stories – Two Weeks In

  1. I certainly enjoyed your little ditty about the gym and the blow dryers in the locker room. As I read your blog, as usual my imagination started to run with the ideas…….. So this morning upon completion of my early morning workout I’m contimplating what to blow dry as I limit the amount of hair on my body and being challenged by those hairy people I must look deep to find something to blow dry… Any Ideas? How about: “Curl This!”
    See you at 9:00 until then, “do it but don’t puke………..” and I will continue to contemplate what I will “Blow Dry” today………….
    Sounds Bad………….

  2. As the wife of that incredibly fit trainer (and who is herself incredibly not fit), I understand. The truly incredible thing about the freak of nature whom I love dearly is that he more than anything wants you to be happy and healthy and will do what ever you need to reach that goal. He is such a good guy, he realizes that in my case that includes ice cream 🙂

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