Category Archives: Life in the Yucatan

The good, the bad and the ugly. Telling it like I see it for over 10 years now.

Walter Visits Migracion

Waking up early just to stand in line with 30 other morning-challenged individuals was not Walter’s idea of a good time, but it was one of those necessary evils required for any foreigner that wanted to live in Merida or Mexico in general. It was just before opening hours at the Immigration office in Merida and Walter was renewing his visa.

Ahead of him, Walter tried, in an effort to make the wait a little more interesting, to guess at the different types of nationalities and occupations of the various people ahead of him in the lineup. There were several what appeared to be Cubans judging from their complexion and who spoke in the rapid fire Spanish unique to them, almost unintelligible to Walter seeing as his Spanish was at the primary-school level and the fact that these people had an aversion to clear pronunciation and zero tolerance for the letter “s”. It’s as if they have marbles in their mouth when they talk, thought Walter bemusedly.

Several older couples, probably Americans or Canadians like him, waiting patiently and with a slightly amused expression on their faces, exchanged glances and soft greetings, unlike their more rambunctious Latino counterparts who either spoke loudly or not at all, the latter not making even the slightest eye contact with those around them. A young Chinese – or perhaps Korean, Walter couldn’t tell – woman stood out among the other nationalities, poking at her smart phone.

It was 8 AM and the office was about to open.

A scruffy young security guard with a LavaGuard uniform finally came out to where the lineup began and opened the gate of what was once a stately colonial home on the Avenida Colon, now a government office. Most of the houses in the area were now offices or banks; none or at least very few, had regular citizens living in them anymore, what with property taxes being what they were and the fact that corporations and wealthy folks from other parts of the country and world were snapping up anything that looked remotely colonial. Sensually round arches, colorful plaster tile floors, hammock hooks in the walls, stately columns; these were all selling points for smooth-talking real estate agents who breathlessly described even the lowliest of the old homes as dream homes for their hopelessly romantic and innocent newly arrived victims.

The line moved abruptly into the driveway and up the stairs to the entrance of the immigration office where each person proceeded to sign in and was then given a number, written in felt pen on a little square of what had once been a more dignified manila folder; the number indicated that persons’ position in the process to follow. A single digit number meant you were first up and was your reward for skipping that second cup of coffee at home. Everyone shuffled off to a place in the driveway area: the bird excrement-splashed broken plastic chairs under a giant ramon tree were the first choice for those who wanted to sit, followed by standing room only in any place that offered shade from the morning sun. Those people with small children succumbed to the persistent urgings of their offspring who insisted that they were hungry and the only thing that would make them happy was a processed food snack from the vending machine conveniently placed at the foot of the stairs of the former residence.

While waiting, one could admire the large fenced in area near the back of the property, complete with a security guard and barbed wire, where it was rumored that an illegal Cuban was being held in true Guantanamo style. However, unlike his Arab Guantanamo counterparts, this Cuban was waiting for deportation, and not being held indefinitely in a hellish limbo that held no predictable future, indicating that Mexico was, at least in this particular case, more concerned with a semblance of lawful procedure than its neighbor to the north.

When Walters’ number was called, he again climbed the stairs and gave the receptionist a quick overview of what he was doing, which was then confirmed on the computer and a second, colored bit of paper was handed to him and he was waved inside. There, another waiting room, already packed with the people that had been ahead of him in the morning lineup, awaited him complete with the relief of cool air conditioning and a television showing the most inane of Televisas’ programming. Walter gritted his teeth and found an empty spot next to the Asian woman, who didn’t look up as he sat next to her, completely absorbed as she was in her phone, paper-filled folder and backpack at her feet.

Every few minutes, an official in khaki pants and navy blue polo shirt with the white embroidered logo of the INM (Instituto Nacional de Migracion) would come in through a second door and everyone would look up hopefully like a group of puppies in a pet store kennel. A number was called and another foreigner disappeared with the official into an interior office.

Walter watched the television, frustrated that he didn’t have his iPhone or at least something to read with him. Televisa’s morning show was on and several European looking Barbie & Ken-like television hosts played off each other and did silly dance moves to some norteño music, while a secondary character, dark-skinned, dressed in mismatched clothing, sporting several blacked out teeth and unkempt hair provided the humor quotient – he represented the indigenous Mexican man on the street. His ridiculous slang and apparent ignorance made him the butt of any and all jokes from the rest of the cast.

In any case, even with the inane television, it was a good thing to be in this air conditioned waiting room and not out in the heat of a Merida summer looking for yet another comprobante of some sort. On a previous attempt the week before, Walter had shown up at the office with all the papers requested on the photocopied list given to him by the receptionist, only to be told that there was a document missing.

“But it’s not even on the list” said Walter in his best Tarzan Spanish, trying somewhat successfully to control his frustration and knowing he was utterly powerless before the whims of Mexican officialdom.

Si, pero es necesario que lo tenga” replied the receptionist curtly and, with a shrug and a dismissive wave, motioned for the next person in line to come forward, an indication to Walter that the discussion had come to an end.

So he endured the pseudo-comedy on the television and was grateful for the air conditioning. It could be worse. The oficina de migracion had been in a building downtown before, which was a pain as far as parking went and there certainly was no air-conditioned room with a TV to distract him as he waited.

Again the door to the interior office opened and an older, resigned-looking female immigration official stood there, looking at a number in her hand.

Treinta y cuatro” she called out, and looked up to see who would be next.

Walter looked at his number – 41. “Just a little bit longer” he thought. The Asian woman next to him gathered her things from the floor and stood up, giving Walter a quick smile before heading into the office behind the blue-clad woman.

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Will Walter get his paperwork sorted out? Will the Asian woman show up in a future installment?  Will that colonial ever get sold and the immigration office moved somewhere with actual parking and a real filing system? Stay tuned!

The Pineapples are Here!

 

IMG_8192 IMG_8196Not from Veracruz but from the nearby state of Tabasco, the sweet pineapples have arrived and are for sale at a truck near you here in sunny Merida!

This truck is downtown, in the vicinity of 64 and 75 streets, near La Hermita and one of these giant suckers will cost you a whopping 20 pesos (about 1.50 USD if you are comparing)

If you love pineapple, as I do, these will make your day.

The Scowling Parking Lot Attendant

She is a scowling, short haired and overweight woman and she runs the parking lot on 58 street downtown, next to a hotel painted egg-yellow with a tourism van almost always parked out front.

Normally, I use the parking lot across the street, which charges double – a whopping 14 pesos an hour – what she does, but on this occasion the lot is closed for the holidays and necessity obliges me to use hers.

I park my car, and carry a large heavy box to the window/door entrance to her dark cave, where from whence she emerges with the usual bad humor I have come to expect from this sallow-faced human to glare at me. Previous attempts at light-hearted banter have been met with a cold expressionless stare, somewhat akin to that of a shark; this is why I prefer not to use this parking lot.

Numero de placa” is her barked greeting as I attempt to balance the box on a small counter and free up one of my hands. Just to bother her, I answer “buenos dias” in as cheery a voice as I can muster with that dark cloud of misery masquerading as a person in front of me. Her response is unreceptive to any attempts at civility. “Numero de placa” she repeats. I decide to keep it simple. “42-26” I reply, using the accepted method of skipping the letters on my license plate and using only the last four numbers.

As she writes this vital information on the parking ticket and hands me my stub, she again feels the need to communicate. “Estacionaste bien?” escapes her throat with a growl.

Did I park correctly? What a ridiculous question, I think to myself. “No” I answer. “estacioné mal” She is not amused and thinks, perhaps, that this smart ass gringo is serious. “Hay que estacionarse bien” she informs me – you have to park correctly.  Um, OK.

I take my parking ticket after assuring her that I did indeed park my car correctly, took my ticket stub and, reclaiming the box I had partially set on her filthy counter/desk, left to go about my business.

Her face an angry mask, she retreated to the darkness of her cave and awaited her next “customer”.

In the Bank this Morning

A quick stop at the local HSBC to make a withdrawal saw me in the lineup for a moment and then my turn was up. At the next teller window, a small obviously Yucatecan man – a diligenciero complete with a motorcycle helmet on and one pant leg tucked into his sock – was waiting for his cheques to be cashed.

A flurry of movement caught my eye and I turned to see several armed men from the security company that moves cash around, come in and take their positions. They deposited several large clear bags with several hundreds of thousands of pesos in them near the security door and asked one of the tellers if the encargado de la boveda – the vault supervisor – was there. “Ahi viene” was her laconic reply as she turned back to her helmeted client.

A few moments passed and nothing. The security men were getting restless and asked again for the supervisor to come and open the door. The teller got up, dialed a number, spoke briefly into the telephone and when she hung up, reassured them that he was almost there. “We can only stay 5 minutes” said the security man.

One of the other men, carrying what looked like a shotgun ad glancing continuously from side to side, asked the helmeted man to remove his helmet.

“Why?” he answered indignantly. “Do I look like I’m hot?”

“Bank security rules” replied the guard “no hats, caps or sunglasses”

“What if there’s shooting?” continued HelmetMan. “Wouldn’t I be safer with the helmet on?”

I noticed that no one was talking at this point and the other tellers were glancing up from their counting and stamping to observe the exchange.

“You need to take off the helmet”. Again, the security man.

“What are you? The owners of the bank now?” HelmetMan countered.

I could already envision a nervous security man accidentally getting riled up and squeezing the trigger on one of those guns and me catching a stray bullet. I wished my teller would move a little faster.

The security man, seeing he was getting no where with the uppity little Yucatecan who was proving to the world how defiantly he could stand up to 3 large men with guns, asked the bank manager to ask his client to remove his helmet. This seemed to work and HelmetMan took off his helmet not before remarking about the mafiosos with their guns and that they think they’re all that.

I finally got my money and left, wondering at the ridiculousness of some people and their insistence on trying to irritate others.

Ode to the Torta de Lechón

Today I had what may have been the best torta de lechón I can recall ever having in Merida. Maybe it was because I was hungry, although I suspect not as I don’t remember having that ravenous feeling in the pit of stomach that would make even the most sawdust-flavored of sandwiches taste good.

The torta, presented to me in the usual way – on a faded red plastic non-disposable plate -at the Chuburná public market at 10 AM on a Saturday morning showed no signs of being better or worse than any I have eaten elsewhere. The roast pork filled the bread nicely and a strip of crunchy pork skin peeked out at me.

The first bite, however, was the beginning of a bliss-filled, three minute mouthgasm that transcended belief and defies description although I will make an effort.

The bread, was soft and warm; it’s outermost layer slightly crispy so that there was a soft but noticeable “crunch” as my teeth bit into it. The meat inside was moist, extremely flavorful and upon tasting it, my eyes rolled back in my head. The next bite included a bit of the crunchy roasted pork skin alluded to earlier and the citrical (yes I made that up) tang of the onion. Unbelievable. I finished the glorious torta without noticing who or what was around me or where I was. Total oblivion.

Highly recommended.

Chuburná market, Saturday AM.

What’s With the Masks on the Ham and Cheese People?

Is it just me or does anyone else out there think that the ham and cheese folks in the super markets look absolutely ridiculous with their mouth and nose covering masks? I mean, I don’t see this in the US and Canada where presumably people are also salivating on the merchandise before wrapping it and handing it to the customer. Or is it that the authorities have identified Mexicans as carriers of some rare disease that can be spread by breathing on ham? Perhaps the supermarkets are hiring people that are inadvertently discovering they are allergic to the smell of nitrates and since it is a pain to fire them, the mouth and nose coverings are the solution. Or the powers that be have discovered that people are eating too much of the ham and cheese and therefore profits are being affected and so…. a physical barrier to mid-shift Serrano ham snacking.

De veras, this country gets more and more ridiculous every day, trying to emulate other more advanced nations with policies that are completely and ludicrously out of touch with reality. What a ridiculous measure by the so-called health “authorities” who spend their time screwing over the established businesses; easy marks for the rules they invent in some office where they download health manuals from Swedish websites and decide that these will be perfect for Mexico.

Meanwhile, there are potentially hepatitis-infused tacos on the street,  partially-cooked grilled chicken sold out of a garage, the eggs covered in chicken excrement and transported in open pickup trucks in the hot Yucatan sun with their potential for salmonella poisoning, the slices of bistek laid out on tables in the middle of the supermarkets (because the air conditioning is cool and so that keeps the meat fresh and e-coli free RIGHT?) and the tamales sold street side in filthy aluminum pots filled with dubiously sanitized ingredients in someones hygiene-challenged kitchen are permitted. No problema!

We can’t really go after all those people because there are simply too many and if we hit the supermarkets and mall stores people will think we are really becoming a first world nation.

Know what? People will not think that and what you are doing is a ridiculous waste of time and money and manpower.

This is yet another shining example of government waste in a country that claims it has no money, implementing and enforcing stupid rules on one captive sector of the economy.

My Brush with the Centro de Endoscopia del Sureste

Ever have the feeling that you’re not feeling right? That heartburn that won’t go away no matter how many chiles habaneros you don’t eat?

You read up on the symptoms online, right? Then you make your prognosis/diagnosis. Hmm, that set of symptoms sounds about right so I must have this.

OK. First step, get a professional opinion.

Luckily, as with most Yucatecan families (and I count myself among those lucky enough to have an extended Yucatecan family) there is a doctor in the family. In this case, not only a doctor, but an ear, nose and throat specialist called in Spanish un otorrinolaringologo. Sounds like an exotic tropical Cuban tune, but once you enter the dimly lit clinic on Calle 57 you realize that although the ambience is definitely 1967 post-revolutionary Havana, there will be no music on this occasion.

The visit to the family otorrino (the shortened version is the more accepted term for his specialty) confirms my suspicions – and nagging dread – that an endoscopia must be endured. His medical prescription goes beyond just those 10 letters and stretches it out to a whopping 26 letters; I need an esofagogastroduodenoscopia.

It gives me heartburn just thinking about it. Hell, it gives me heartburn just spelling the damn word.

I make the appointment at the Centro de Endoscopia del Sureste, the location near Avenida Itzaes, not the Altabrisa one, because my doctor says that the newer one has some deficiencies. Not one to ask what those might be, I readily accept his suggestion and make my appointment with the nice ladies at the reception area who tell me what I need to not do before coming to my appointment the following day at 11 AM.

On the day, Better Half comes with me as one needs to have a designated driver for the entertaining post-endo drive home, as some grogginess might still be there and your reaction times might be a little slow when driving through a glorieta with 57 other drivers in a hurry. We sit and wait in the dimly lit room, the air conditioning on and everyone talking in whispers. The ambience is peaceful, almost disconcertingly funereal. Some very old people are sitting around waiting for their turn to be prodded, perforated or penetrated – in a medical way of course. No one looks happy to be there.

A drink is offered; a most disgusting clear liquid that ‘cleans the pipes’ so to speak. At least that is what I am told. Better Half and I check our email on our iPhones.

A loud – no, very loud – woman and her even louder daughter break the tranquility of the office and the old man a few seats away wakes with a jolt, his elderly body moving from a collapsed inflatable human to soldier-straight in about 2 seconds. The woman and her daughter provide all manner of personal details to the counter ladies in a voice that can probably be heard at the Plaza de Toros a good 15 blocks away in García Ginerés and their evident and complete lack of concern for their surroundings is astounding. From their look, their tone and their loudly-shared information which would make identity theft a piece of cake, we can surmise that they are of the so called clase acomodada, that breed of Meridano who has the oblivious self-confidence and indifferent arrogance of those born to have a muchacha, a mozo and a chofer at their beck and call 24/7. After a few minutes of teeth-gritting conversation, they also fall silent and poke at their phones.

Finally, thankfully, my name is called and I am directed to a small room with a hospital bed and instructed to remove my shirt and put on the classic hospital gown that everyone has come to know and love featuring it’s stunning pastel tones and daring back-cleavage-exposing aperture. A catheter  (is that what they are called?) is placed on my hand, inserted into a vein and a syringe attached. The liquid is yellow-green from what I can see. I onehandedly play with my iPhone and take pictures of myself while I lie there waiting for something to happen.

It does and I am wheeled into the operating room where Dr. Peniche Gallareta, whose brother I know from my days in the printing business, welcomes me as the intern rolls me on my side like a beached walrus, folding and placing my arms just so. The good doctor also chides me after finding out how long I have had my heartburn issues. If there is one thing I love about doctors and dentists, it’s how they manage to scold you when you finally do go and see them.

Yes, it has been a while.

Yes, I should probably have come earlier.

No, actually I never floss.

In any case, the syringe is injected, I am given something plastic to bite on, the doctor asks how the sleepiness is coming along and before I know it I am paying at the counter. I have NO recollection of the endo-process, the wheeling back into the little room, the removal of the afore-mentioned SexyBack gown, putting on my shirt or walking to the counter. My first memory is of paying the bill!

Amazing!

Now, I must take the beautiful color photos of my charming insides to a specialist so he can tell me what comes next.

I can’t wait.

 

 

The Story of an iPad, Lost and Found

Carting a huge load of merchandise with both hands, I struggled, iPad securely under my arm, to maneuver the key and open the trunk, having lost the use of the remote due to unexplained reasons resulting in shrugs from the técnico and the obvious and brilliant deduction that escaped his lips as he looked me in the eye: “no sirve“. The two giant bags of clothing deposited in the trunk, I climbed in the drivers seat of my trusty Impala and drove to my office.

It was only then that I realized in that adrenaline-shot-to-your-brain way that goes beyond the usual irritation I feel when I can’t find something, that I did not have with me my trusty iPad. A quick look through the car and trunk. Nothing. Maybe I left it at the store where I bought the clothing? Nothing. They even sent someone out into the parking lot to check but found nothing. A sinking feeling overcame me. I had set the iPad on the roof of my car and driven off. Obviously, it had fallen onto the street. Obviously, someone had picked it up. Obviously, it was gone for good. Right?

So I lost an iPad you are thinking. Poor me right? But it’s not prostate cancer, you think. Whatever. On that iPad I have all my bank account, credit card, supplier and other business info in the form of a nifty app called PocketMoney. I use GarageBand to create what I think are cool little riffs and the occasionally brilliant recording. Then there is all the email info, Facebook, Twitter, FourSquare, WhatsApp – all accounts semi-permanently open to avoid me having to log into everything every time. PayPal, Skype. That’s all going to need to be changed.

iTunes! The master account that controls everything. Have to change that real quick.

After making all the password and login changes I turned to the Find My iPhone App and found myself on the icloud.com web page. There, after signing in with my newly modified iTunes account info, is the button and I push it. The screen changes and a map of Merida shows up and promptly shows my iPhone’s location, next to me. Yes I have an iPhone. The iPad, however, is not found. “Offline” says the app.

Turns out I never got a SIM card for the iPad, thinking that Carlos Slim would not miss one more account paying for his museums and extravagant lifestyle; instead, I use the iPad exclusively with WiFi. Apparently, if my iPad was in the hands of someone, that someone had not exposed it to Wifi just yet. I waited.

The FindMyiPhone app has the option to

a) send a message to your lost iPad or iPhone

b) block your iPhone or iPad with a 4 digit numeric password

c) wipe your iPad or iPhone completely clean of all installed programs, all photos, everything.

I chose options (a) and (b). A message was sent (two actually) to whomever had it that could they please call me at such and such a number. Por favor. Y gracias. The number code would hopefully prevent snooping while the text message would help the potentially honest holder of my iPad find me.

Option (c) was a last resort. I wasn’t ready to wipe it just yet.

A week went by and little by little I was forcefully weaned off my iPad dependence. My biggest regret was having all my business info on it and my music. Everything else was replaceable. No sign from icloud.com. Apparently my iPad had either been hacked or smashed to smithereens when it fell off my car. I installed a new money tracking app on my iPhone called CashFlow that features a pig, presumably alluding to the piggy bank concept, in bright pink.

Then, about a week later, the following message showed up in my inbox: “Se ha encontrado tu iPad” I had to read it again just to be sure. Yes, there it was, it had been found, charged and connected to the internet via WiFi! Another email arrived on the heels of the first one, telling me that the message I had sent had been seen. Yet another email informed me that the iPad had been successfully blocked with my new numeric password. Excitement flowed through my veins and I waited for the phone call that was surely coming.

The phone did not ring.

After some time, I went back to iCloud and clicked on the found iPad icon, which was miraculously still online. A map of Merida appeared and I was able to determine that my iPad was in someones house, very close to Plaza Fiesta. Zooming in, I saw that the house was two houses in, across from a bunch of trees. Hoping that the satellite image was recent, and with no street view to go on, I drove as calmly as I could to the area, keeping an eye on the icloud.com map which was now displayed on my iPhone. No movement; the iPad was there, perhaps being hacked at this very moment!

When I arrived at what I surmised was the right place, I found two possibilities. A house, and next to it, a dental office.  I opted for the house.

All windows were open and looking in while tapping on the glass with a key, I saw my iPad right there on the kitchen or living room table, in the middle of the room not 3 meters from where I was standing. I mulled over the idea of slipping in and stealing back my iPad when a German Shepherd bounded into the room and jumped up against the glass, barking and trying to slip his head sideways through the windows to presumably take a chunk of me. Someone had seen me coming and had let him loose as a warning perhaps? A girl, about 17 or so, came into the room behind the dog who was now being quite noisy and ferocious. Being the great believer in the basic goodness of humankind I asked her if she could return to me the iPad which was sitting on her table as I was the owner and had seen over the internet that it was here. She said no, it belongs to a friend of my Dads and he wants to sell it to us. “You’ll have to talk to my Dad”

My response was straight out of an NBC sitcom. “Seriously?”

She nodded her head “And he’ll be back in about two hours” she added.

“I’ll wait” I replied and went to my car to settle in for a two hour wait.

Meanwhile, my secret weapon, aka the Better Half, whose faith in the honest intentions of possessors of strangers iPads was considerably less than mine, had flagged down an SPV patrol car to ask the nice policeman what one does in these situations. “You see” she explained to the policeman who obviously had time on his hands and was prepared to help out, “my husband is an extranjero and, well you know…”

The policeman did indeed know and showed up a minute later in front of the house. Notified by Better Half that the forces of the law were coming, I was there, waiting.

Meanwhile a boy had left the house and now returned with a man and a moment later, a second man showed up as well. Man A was the father mentioned above and Man B it turns out was a motorcycle messenger. They had come to negotiate with me but found themselves facing a patrol car, lights a-flashing and a stern looking cop alongside the silly gringo. Neighbors appeared from surrounding houses and talleres to watch this little drama playing out on their street.

The motorcycle messenger spoke first.

Y quien me va a dar mi recompensa?” he asked loudly. “Yo lo encontre!” He pointed at his own chest for added emphasis.

If there had been any doubt, his asking for a reward and saying he found it convinced the policeman that this was indeed the right house. I told the messenger to shut up and that I would make sure to give him his reward, but wanted to have my iPad in my hot little hands first. Man A, the father, came out of the house with the iPad and handed it to me saying only that he was charging it and had been looking for its owner. I could tell he was exhausted from all that looking.

Anticlimactically, the policeman took down everyone’s names, I tried out the iPad which was thankfully intact and undamaged and paid a small sum to the messenger to get him off my back and a larger sum to the policeman who said that this was the third iPad he had recovered thanks to the GPS function this month. It turns out that there was an open WiFi signal in the neighborhood and once the iPad had been connected to electricity, it had automatically connected to the internet, making the happy ending to this story possible.

Better Half and I went for a celebratory lunch, iPad securely under my arm.

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You can make sure your iPhone is locatable at http://icloud.com

If you have only WiFi on your Apple device, make sure that it’s settings allow it to connect to any available WiFi signal.

Make sure you have your Apple device registered through iTunes.

Download the FindMyiPhone app here.

The Funky Exhibits at the Manuel Crescencio Rejon Airport in Merida

Every once in a while, yet another friend shows up in Merida and I have to make the trek out to the airport to pick them up when they arrive on the flight from Continental which is now called United. In spite of the tone of the last sentence, I actually enjoy these little outings, what with the people watching opportunities, passenger and family member bingo (the gringo, 50 points, a mestiza, for 100 points etc.) and the expensive and consistently horrendous coffee at that little place next to Burger King which is always closing as we all wait for the flight to arrive.

On this last occasion, just about a month ago now, there was a new exhibit in the airport called Tesoros de Mexico (Treasures of Mexico) and so I had to check it out. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t figure out what in the hell this exhibit was about. There was a fancy chair, some coats of arms, a series of mini-pyramid sculptures but for the life of me I could not find a theme or even a reason for all this junk to be here. If you can figure this out and wish to enlighten me, please do. In my humble and always correct opinion, the exhibit should have been called “Shit I had lying around the back of the Museum” which would have been much more self-explanatory and then the items on display would have made some sense.

Look at the pyramids for example. In the absence of a sign or something, what are we looking at? Are the models to scale and the idea is to show how they stand up to each other in the great scheme of things archeological? Is it someone’s Lego set? There’s Mayan and Aztec stuff there. Why?

The fancy chair with the coat of arms of the state of Yucatan is there. Why? Did it belong to someone famous? Who? Does it belong to the governor? So why is it here at the airport then?

Here are most of the items you can enjoy while sipping that 700 peso coffee:

Dispatches from the Gym

It has been a while since I last commented on my progress at the gym, the one with all the fancy cars outside and the impossibly fit personal trainer.

I have progressed beyond the exhaustion/vomiting in the parking lot point and have come to enjoy my workouts, actually missing them if I go for more than a day without sweating it out. My physique is slowly but surely changing; there are bulges now where there was only flab or nothing at all and my joints ache, but in a good way, a way that says ‘you are alive, you are getting stronger’ and also ‘don’t push it, you old fart’.

My favorite moments, though, are still those involving the locker room. There is something I find hilarious about all that loud, boisterous male on male banter and the imaginative and creative uses of the hair dryers provided by the gym presumable for us menfolk to dry their hair.

Just yesterday I watched in amazement as a towel clad individual, freshly returned from the showers, blow dried a basket of toiletries.

Two thoughts immediately came to mind: 1) what kind of man is it that has a plastic tray with his shower toiletries? and 2) what kind of man finds it necessary to blow dry this item before returning it to a locker? Presumably his locker is full of moisture-sensitive materials that would desintegrate upon making contact with said moisture?

I don’t know.

Enlighten me?