This morning, as I headed to work in my store in the Gran Plaza mall and prior to its opening to the public, I observed a cleaning person standing next to the electric escalator, his grey haired mop horizontally positioned on the hand rail. It took me a minute to realize what he was doing: “cleaning” the black, rubbery handrail that moves along with the electric escalator! As he looked around and watched the comings and goings of the people around him, his probably less-than-sanitary mop was wiping the handrail without any effort on his part whatsoever.

While not a particularly effective way to clean, it is most assuredly another fine example of Mexican ingenuity!

Something to think about next time you are at the mall, going up or down on one of those escalators and reach out to grab the handrail…

One Christmas, not too many moons ago, my much better half bought me a computer for Christmas; a brand new, top of the line HP computer from Liverpool.

Living as we do in the land of the CFE, the national electricity monopoly that works for the “progress of Mexico” (it says so right there on their logo) while remaining unable to maintain a continuous flow of electricity to its over-paying client/victims, it was inevitable that one day the computer would sputter to a halt, as a result of an afore-alluded-to power problem.

I therefore headed off to Liverpool to ask about service and repair; where to obtain same, and was informed that Liverpool had nothing to do with it since it had been longer than the in-store guarantee and I should visit the ‘authorized’ HP service center, a company by the name of Genesis located on Avenida Cupules in this formerly white city.

At this once-stately Garcia Gineres area address, Genesis has haphazardly and tastelessly converted a formerly elegant residence and made it into a junky looking office where it is the authorized service center for not only HP but Epson as well. Unsmiling, unhelpful employees abound and eagerly await your departure so they can get back to whatever important tasks they are undertaking.

The receptionist, also unsmiling and rather sad looking, kind of like a mistreated pet, listens with a face totally devoid of either interest or empathy as you explain the problem. She then proceeds to make out a service order in her computer which you then take and off you go.

About a week or two later, I was informed that no problem had been detected with the CPU (a cooling fan problem that caused the machine to shut down at start-up) and that the problem probably lay with my electrical source (ie wall plug). OK. It was running fine here in the shop, they tell me. Fine. I pay my service charge (about $20 USD) pick up my computer and take it home, eager to get it up and running.

You know what happens next. I connected everything and voila, same problem. “Falla en el tubo de ventilacion, se apagara el CPU para evitar daños a la computadora” or something to that effect.

I call them, just a little miffed.

“Well it was working fine here” they answer.

“But it’s not working now, here. Can’t you come and get it and check it again – here where the computer is actually plugged in – to make up for what was obviously a complete waste of my time and money for the first reparation?” I insist on thinking like a foreigner.

“No, we don’t do that.”

After asking for and speaking with a supervisor, Genesis agreed that they would come out to pick up the CPU and take it back to the shop, as a customer service gesture, which was evidently not something normally within the scope of their operations.

“When can you come?” I ventured, still on the phone.

“En el transcurso del dia de mañana” – sometime during the day.

“Could you be a little more precise since there is no one in the house and I would have to come back from work to get you access to the PC so you can check it out.”

“No, we would call you before coming to let you know. Can you give us your home number?”

“If I give you my home number, no one will answer it because there is no one there. I can give you my cell phone number and you can call me and we can meet at the house.” I am starting to think that not only are these people not particularly service-oriented, they are also a little cerebrally challenged. And here comes the best line of this whole exchange:

“No, a cell phone won’t work.”

“Why?” This is wierd.

“We just need a regular phone number, not a cell phone.”

“Are you telling me that you can’t or don’t have permission to call cell phones to communicate with your clients?!” I am suspecting this and can not believe what I am hearing.

“Asi es” is the response I get.

To keep this story from going on forever: I finally wrangled a three hour time frame from them and we were set. The technicians came and checked the computer, which did not respond to their repeated attempts at starting it up; the technician doing the rebooting was even spinning the ventilation fan by hand and saw that it was indeed, stuck. So they took the CPU back to the shop. That was mid-July.

A few days later I was informed that the CPU was working fine and it was indeed a problem with my electrical outlets. Knowing the CFE and how electricity comes and goes, I did not consider this outrageous and resigned myself to hiring an electrician to come and break apart my walls and re-cable everything. Viva Mexico. At the shop, a different technician, one I hadn’t seen before, escorted me into the back area where my CPU was, to demonstrate to me that it was working just fine, there in the shop. The technician I had previously talked to was on the phone with me at the same time making sure that the gringo (me) could see that it worked and would he please leave us the hell alone. The technician in front of me flicked the switch and lo and behold, “Falla en el tubo de ventilacion, se apagara el CPU para evitar daños a la computadora“. There is a god and he is just, I am thinking.

The guy on the phone wants to talk to the technician “no puede ser” he says to the guy in front me.

“I’m looking right at it.” he replies. “Yes, it’s the right computer” he insists.

OK. Now they will have another look at it. I should come back later. They will let me know.

In the last week of August, having heard nothing about my computer and having received no phone calls (at home) to update me on what was happening, I visited the sad receptionist again and she informed me that the problem was now the motherboard and they had not gotten a price for its replacement and that is why they hadn’t called. Oh. And would it not have been nice to let me know that they had made this discovery and perhaps given me a call to inform me about the ongoing saga and perhaps get an opinion from me as to whether or not to proceed? This unreasonable remark provoked only a shrug from the sad receptionist and I again left with the idea that I would be called as soon as they had a price for the new motherboard.

On September 30, I drove for the fourth and last time to Merida’s Hewlett Packard ‘service’ center. No, I hadn’t received a call (at home). I just figured it was time to rescue that CPU before the technology became completely obsolete and my family photos were lost forever. A sallow faced individual who was obviously there against his will on a prison work experience program judging from his attitude, looked at my worn piece of paper, got my CPU and asked me to sign. He also asked me to pay. For what? I asked. Nothing has been done and the original ‘revision’ had already been paid for. Oh yeah. OK. Es todo. And I was free to go.

Hewlett Packard – you should be ashamed at having these people represent your company! All that advertising money spent so that people take this memory with them when they have a problem with your equipment! Why should anyone buy a HP product and not a ‘patito’ brand instead? The service will be the same, so why pay more?

In case anyone turns to this blog as a source of up to date information on Merida, let me start by saying that as far as Merida goes, we are all safe and well.

There is, at the time of this writing (9:50 AM on Tuesday, August 21st) some light wind with occasional gustiness if that is a word, a little rain and there are clouds overhead. No fallen or uprooted trees, no flipped cars. Nada.

Hurricane Dean has decided to explore the area around Majahual, where it came ashore and is now travelling across the peninsula through Chetumal and will pop out somewhere on the Campeche side and then revisit Mexico around Veracruz.

Now I just have to find a place for my trunkful of bottled water…

A short 10 minute drive along a narrow secondary road from Rio Lagartos takes you to the small seaside town of San Felipe. One is immediately struck by the enormous difference between the chaotic, undeveloped ugliness of Rio Lagartos and the ordered, colorful main street of San Felipe! While San Felipe is not the french riviera, you can see that there is someone, somewhere, concerned with keeping the town’s aesthetic intact.

Multi-colored wooden houses with fences, wide and clean sidewalks and actual planters with ornamental plants in them are what greet you as you make your way down the main street towards the beachfront.

Since the purpose of our visit to San Felipe was to find a restaurant, we looked for and found our destination, the El Payaso seafood restaurant. The Casual Restaurant Critic, who was along for the ride, can tell you all about it on his blog.

After a delicious seafood lunch, a short drive around town and then we were off to Mérida, this time via Buctzotz and the secondary roads that eventually lead you through Motul and finally Mérida, where we arrived 4 hours later. With the rain and the dark, it made for some hairy driving experiences what with unmarked road improvements and the occasional unannounced speed bump or tope, but we made it in one piece.

With the rain getting worse, making visibility difficult, we arrived at the town of Tizimin. Nothing tremendously exciting there, basically we just drove through, stopping to confirm directions to Rio Lagartos at a Pemex station. There is a turn-off onto the highway to Rio Lagartos that is supposedly marked, but it is not, so keep your eyes peeled. The highway signs indicate Valladolid to your left and Merida via Buctzotz straight ahead and nothing to the right. This is where you need to turn right.

After a fairly uneventful drive along a narrow road with heavy rain and trucks coming from the opposite direction, we arrived at the frankly aesthetically challenged village of Rio Lagartos, where we were immediately spotted by a bicycle-riding tourist-snatcher. This advance person took us (follow me!) to the dock where the arrangements were made to take the bird-watching tour; we paid 700 pesos for the 2 hour tour.

The rain had since mostly disappeared except for a light occasional drizzle and when we expressed some trepidation about riding in the boat with the rain, the guide informed us that he had already equipped the tour with some ‘nailoms’. From the english word ‘nylon’ these turned out to be garbage bags… he informed us that we would be comfortable because it was not raining that hard and besides, the nailom we would be using was large enough to adequately protect us from the moisture. When our dubious expressions convinced him that he would have to be a little more convincing, he mentioned that he could get some ‘impermeables’ which are, in fact, raincoats. “Should I get them?” he asked. “Well, yes.” I answered. And dressed in bright yellow rain coats (mine said CFE) we were off.

The drizzle was a little too persistent and one of the people in the party insisted on having the top put on the boat. It turns out the top is a canvas material, not particularly waterproof but it did make a little difference.

The first stop was a few minutes into the trip, when we were shown a crocodile. Quite a sight! Then the rest of the trip was quite entertaining, if you are into birds; all kinds were spotted along the way. To get to the highlight of the two-hour trip, the flamingoes, you have to go through a very shallow part which seems to take forever and will lull you to sleep if you can get comfortable enough. The motor is turned off, and the guide will pole the boat around trying to get close enough to observe the bright pink birds up close, without disturbing them into taking flight.

On the way back, a stop to see where the Salinera de Yucatan makes salt. You can float in the salty water, a rust-red color, filled with extremely salty water treated with some chemicals, and it has amazing buoyancy qualities, if you don’t mind the mystery chemicals that the water contains. This is followed by a beauty treatment, where the guide makes a hole in the mucky sand to extract the fine white clay mud which he proceeds to smear on your face and body, if you so desire.

And so, covered in your exfoliating scrub, you head back to the dock, stopping along the way to jump in the water to rinse off. If you are lucky, as we were, the guide will at that point show you a crocodile swimming close by.

Back at the dock, we looked for a spot to have lunch but there isn’t much in the way of tourism infrastructure to speak of; in fact, the town is quite ugly and there is garbage everywhere, so we decided to head over to San Felipe, a 10 minute drive away.

– to be continued –

A recent outing with visitors to the coastal pueblo of Ria Lagartos via Ek Balam has prompted me to write a comment or three, and will perhaps be of interest to those thinking about venturing out there while vacationing in the Yucatan.

First of all, an early start is required, since you are looking at a few hours of driving. We left Merida at 7 AM and arrived, via the toll highway to Cancun and got off at the Valladolid exit, paying the 120 pesos or so for the privelege of avoiding all the small towns – and their topes – along the way. From there, since Valladolid itself was not on this itinerary, we immediately headed towards Tizimin, the capital of Yucatecan cattle country.

But first, a stop at the town of Temozón. Brief note to the observant: there are several Temozones in the Yucatan, including Roberto Hernandez’ hacienda called Temozon Sur, on the road to the Puuc region and Temozon Norte, which is a newly or soon to be municipalized (is that even a word?) residential ‘suburb’ of the city of Merida.

This Temozon, is the Municipio de Temozon, just outside Valladolid on the Tizimin highway – you can’t miss it. A good friend had recommended stopping there since the town is famous for it’s smoked meat (pork) and one could have tacos there for breakfast. While we found several ‘puestos‘ or storefronts advertising the local delicacy, most were closed. The one that was open did sell the smoked meat and even gave us a sample, but did not offer taco service until later. As it turns out, he had neglected to mention that you needed to buy the meat and then find a tortilleria and make your own…

Since we were a little peckish, we stopped at the taco vendor in front of Temozon’s modest church and had tacos de lomitos de Valladolid, complete with the obligatory pieces of hard boiled egg on top as well as tortas de carnitas. Delicious and cheap. $50 pesos with a tip included.
Then, on to the Mayan ruins of Ek Balam, which is well marked on the same Tizimin highway. We were there in about 10 -15 minutes and were able to take advantage of the fact that it was not that hot yet. Still, the sauna-like combination of the rainy season and sunshine was enough to leave everyone sweating profusely.

After paying the $27 peso entry fee, which does not particulary have anything to do with the ‘official’ rates posted, you are in. The ruins are partially excavated and there is plenty of vegetation to provide shade. Many facades and details have been restored and the INAH (Instituto Nacional de Antropologia e Historia) have installed plaques with descriptions in English, Spanish and Mayan, of the particular building you are looking at.

The climb to the top of the pyramid, one of the largest in the Yucatan in terms of the actual square meters its base occupies, is a long, steep climb but the view from the top is breathtaking, if you have any breath in you after the climb. It is said that on a clear day you can see the Mayan ruins of Chichen and Coba from this vantage point. Halfway up, is a restored entrance which is roped off, in the shape of a jaguar’s mouth complete with giant teeth. This is a detail that is unique to this archealogical site, according to my guide.

Besides checking out the cleared and partially restored buildings, it is possible to walk a path around the un-restored ruins, covered with giant trees. This is what I did and was able to find a midden, or what appeared to be one. As you may or may not know, a midden is a site where the ancients dumped their trash and which is a virtual gold mine for archeologists. This particular midden was in remarkably well-preserved condition, so I took a photo which I share with you here.

After visiting the site, which took us about an hour, we were once again on the road, heading towards Tizimin and our final destination, Rio Lagartos.

Everything was going swimmingly when the sky began to acquire a metallic dark grey color and a few very large raindrops began to spatter on the windshield.

– continued –