Tag Archives: mexico

Puuc in Boots – Merida Winter Fashion

I apologize for the cheesy title but it was as creative as I could get for the subject on my mind this morning: Boots.

Now that winter, such as it is, has come to the Yucatan, I have noticed (have you?) the predominance of boots as a footwear option in the fomerly white city. Everywhere you look, the girls and young women are moving from their traditional chanclas for casual wear and obviously foot-torturing stilletto heels to boots. Flat-soled boots, high heel stilletto boots, long boots, short boots, leather, suede and synthetic material boots, boots with tassles, multicolor boots and long black shiny ones that would serve a dominatrix well.

My Better Half, who stopped by Nine West the other day and observed that ‘everyone’ was trying on boots, says it is all about being fashionable in response to my comment that the boots seemed a little over the top considering that it is not particularly wet outside nor is there any snow on the ground that I have seen anyway.

Along with the boots come the sweaters, shawls and even fur (fake or real who can tell) tipped abrigos (coats) that make me sweat just looking at them. Sweat not because they are so sexy, but because they look too darn hot to be worn in Merida, let alone inside the mall.

I do enjoy the look of the boots though, even if it does seem superfluous. A form fitting pair of jeans and calf-high leather boots with heels will cause many to turn for a second glance and I admit I am not immune. My favorite combination seen this frigid winter season, has been a 20-something woman in a tshirt, sweater, knee-high boots and a pair of cutoff jeans. I don’t see this combo warding off cold temperatures any time soon, so I surmise that my Better Half’s observation is correct. It’s all about being in fashion.

I draw the line however, (and these I have seen as well this winter) at earmuffs.

Morning Musings

When the power goes out, as it invariably does here in Merida, you are left with contemplating life without electricity, which we (or at least I) take for granted every day.

Making my morning coffee, I am lucky enough to have a little French press that makes coffee for one and a half; a perfect morning starting size for me, what Starbucks might call a venti. Also, like most Yucatecans, I use gas in my kitchen which facilitates the heating of the water for said coffee, coffee harvested from the highland plains of  Costco, sold under the brand name Gila and already ground and stored in my freezer.

Speaking of freezer – and fridge – these must be opened and shut quickly, so as to conserve whatever cold temperatures are inside because one never knows how long these power outages are going to last.

Having charged the laptop throughout the previous night, I am able to write this morning without the distraction of the internet, as the modem is powered, again, by electricity and that little WiFi icon on my screen is blocked by a bright red cross, kind of like one of those AIDS ribbons. As I am typing this, and this is so coincidental as to be downright weird, Microsoft Works (with ads) pops up an ad for National AIDS fund with, as luck would have it, a red ribbon.

For a few days now I wanted to write about some of the wildlife one can see in ones garden if one doesn’t opt for the popular method of slashing and burning all local vegetation on ones property in order to build ones house.  This morning is a good opportunity to do so.

Leaving local trees and plants like the dzidilche, jabin, chaka and even the spiny, twisty catzin, can reward you with a cornucopia of local fauna that will frequent your garden and make sitting at your kitchen window a National Geographic moment, without the ads.

Besides several species of local birds, most prominent among them the k’au, or grackle which delights in surrounding our homes indoor (open to the sky) patio and diving in to the dogs dish to scoop up dog food nuggets and taking them to the pool where they are dipped in water to soften them up before swallowing, there are a few larger animals as well. How the heck do they learn this complex physics concept of a liquid softening up something hard? I have probably mentioned this before so forgive me if I am repeating myself but these birds blow me away with their smarts!

Occasionally, herds (for lack of a better term and without the internet where shall I look to find the correct name) of squirrels invade the treetops, jumping from branch to branch, scurrying along the edge of the roof and leaping great distances to traverse the entire back yard in about 5 minutes, chattering loudly and excitedly. The tree branches rustle and bounce, the dog goes crazy trying to get at them and the show is over in a very short time indeed.

Two days ago, cleaning the leaves and debris tossed into the pool by Karl, the blowhard who didn’t stick around and made his way to Veracruz, I noticed a snake near the edge of the water. About a meter long, it was reddish brown and looked perfectly harmless. As I considered my options, it moved very quickly and sinuously into the pool itself and, head raised triumphantly, slithered-ly swam to the opposite end where it popped out without any effort and disappeared under some rocks. I think about the times I have swum in the pool at night, in the dark without a care in the world.

Yesterday, sitting in this very kitchen and typing on this very computer, a movement caught my eye. Straight ahead of me, perched vertically on the bougainvillea trunk beside the kitchen window, was a very large iguana, dressed in a shade of gray (as usual) and bright green (very unusual) as it had been sitting in the bright green branches above. As I looked around for a camera, it continued downwards and made it’s hip-wiggling way across the lawn to yet another set of rocks where it vanished.

The power has returned and the silence has been broken by the hum of fans, motors, compressors and the neighbors mozo vacuuming their vehicles. The good news for me is that I can upload this post as well as take a shower and get on with my day.

Have a great Sunday, everyone!

The Montejo Statues “Controversy”

An email from a friend alerted me to the presence of a BBC reporter who did a piece on Merida which focused entirely on the ‘storm in a teacup’ surrounding the statues of the Franciscos de Montejo which were recently unveiled on the Paseo de Montejo, Merida’s wide, Champs Elysees -style boulevard. The interview with a Yucatecan anthropologist, which can be heard here, covers the unfavorable reaction that the statues have received from some sectors. It seems to me that if the BBC was doing their GeoQuiz on Merida, there are about a gazillion other things to talk about, but the statues were the topic of this segment.

In my humble and unschooled opinion, the statues simply put a face to the name that is present on the avenue, a local beer, and of course the Casa Montejo, now a Banamex bank and once their base and home in the city’s Plaza Grande. Undoubtedly, their contribution to the city, besides drawing up the initial plans for how the newly formed capital should be laid out and grow, included a lot of exploitation of and violence against, the existing Mayan indian population. I don’t feel that the statues glorify the Montejo clan, as the history of the Yucatan is taught, to some degree, in every elementary, secondary and high school in the state and so most people are aware of the atrocities perpetrated by the conquistadores.

On the other hand, there is a statue, much larger and more dramatic to be sure, to one of the great Mayan indian warriors, Jacinto Canek, on an avenue that bears his name as well. The difference in the two statues and where they are located may be a subtle clue to the underlying sentiments that prevail in the Yucatan today. The Montejos are on Merida’s most spectacular avenue, where turn of the century mansions line the street and pedestrians stroll under giant shady trees on wide sidewalks; the Jacinto Canek avenue is a noisy, commercial and thoroughly unattractive street, notorious for being the home of the shabbiest strip clubs and where the sidewalk is broken and populated each night by transvestite prostitutes.

Racism is alive and well in the Yucatan – but never talked about – and perhaps the Montejos statues contribution will be a renewed discussion on the lingering effects of that fateful moment in history, over 500 hundred years ago, when the cultures of the old world clashed with those of the new.

Coach Anita’s iPhone@TelCel Trials and Tribulations

Every once in a while, we here at lawsonsyucatan.com feature a guest griper who has a fresh and illuminating take on everyday life in the city we all love and find so, well, interesting.

Today’s contribution is from Coach Anita P. Beale; you may already know her! She hangs out in the mercado grande early mornings and is visited by many a local after a weekend night of partying. About 5 AM, when everyone is drunk or coming down from a drunk, they will announce “Vamos por Coach Anita!

——————————————————————————–

The following is my account of my day at TelCel on Saturday…

I ordered my iPhone today… how exciting! It was a tedious affair of driving to one of only four authorized Telmex iPhone outlets at Alta Brisa Mall, checking in at the check in desk, standing in a long and very pedestrian line, and then finally getting permission to go to one of the 40 desk/booths to interface with some kid. Here are some of the highlights of the exchange, let’s see how it went, shall we?:

*Good afternoon, I’d like to discuss the purchase of an iPhone.

*well, we have a lot of different plans, do you know which one you want?

*yes, a friend told me all about her plan, and I would like what she has so I am prepared.

*do you want this in your personal name or the name of your corporation?

*name of the corporation please. (maybe we could get a tax credit or something)

*well it takes 5 days working to get it as a regular citizen and por lo menos twice that for the corporation, and we will need your acta constructiva, original and copies, bills for the last 2 years, originals and copies, taxes paid, names and signatures of each officer, signed form from the accountant of the corporation.

*never mind, just as a real live person.

*we need three character witnesses and their addresses and land-line phones, no cel phones, even though that’s what you are buying.

*didn’t have their addresses so made them up, Juanita had told me that they needed land lines so had those numbers with me, however they asked her for two, and now need three! Good thing I added an extra one to be safe (I guess I’ve lived here long enough to anticipate). They need land line numbers because of course one can’t trust cel phones at TelCel celular phone company.

*”representative” fidgeted constantly, rocking back and forth and up and down like he was comin’ offa crack or something. Cleaned glasses a minimum of 9 times. I do believe he farted twice as well.

*will I be able to keep my old phone number? Yes! But not if you want to keep your old phone.

*all names/numbers will be wiped out of your old phone before we activate your new phone, best to write everything down on a piece of paper. (Now wait just a minute… I can’t see that happening in San Francisco or London or Tokyo… do they ask them to do that there too?)

*May I see phone? See how it works?

*there’s one on display, but I’ll have to help someone else in line while you look, and you’ll have to wait until they are done before I can help you again…

*plus that one in display is out of battery and is a black screen anyway so there is nothing for you to see

*may I see the white one?

*no, all phones are sealed in boxes and only opened if you buy it.

*do you have any white ones in stock

*I don’t know, I would have to go in the stockroom and check.

*it doesn’t show that on your screen?

*no.

*would you check please?

*yes, but it will be around 5 minutes or so while I rummage through the stock room

*I want white, I think, please check and I will twiddle my thumbs while you check

*5 minutes*

*yes! we have white, but you can’t see it… do you want it?

*I guess.

*is all info correct on this sheet?

*well, it is Juanita, not Judith

*rips up page and throws in trash dramatically

*OK, is everything correct?

*well, Heitke is my apellido, not my nombre

*rips up page and throws in trash dramatically

*is everything correct?

*street is between 65 and 67, not 65 and 77

*rips up page and throws in trash dramatically

*is everything correct?

*my birthday is in July, not June

*rips up page and throws in trash dramatically

*is everything correct now?

*yes, it is!

*it will take 5 days to process your request, where should we call you?

*my home phone or cel phone number

*but your cel number will be disconnected by us, so we can’t call that and rules clearly state that we have to have two numbers. I cannot go forward without this information

*but you won’t disconnect it UNLESS my dossier comes through Interpol as a go, right?

*we will call your cel number

*would you like to pay by cash or credit card each month?

*credit card

*oh, your credit card isn’t a national one, is it?

*no, it is from the usa, but I use it every single day here in Merida

*I have to go check, this may take a while

*a while*

*computer says no.

*so would you like to pay by cash or credit card each month, but with a Mexican credit card?

*I don’t have a Mexican credit card, so cash, I will physically go to your office every single stinkin’ month to pay.

*OK, I think I have everything, that is all. You will be contacted if you are eligible.

*will I be contacted if I am NOT eligible?

*no

The “Real Merida”

If there’s one thing that bothers me about idealistic folks coming to retire and/or live here semi-permanently, it’s those individuals that don’t visit northern Merida or go to a mall or eat at Carls Junior because it’s not, in their constrained and limited perception of what a modern Mexican city can be, the ‘real Merida’.

Maybe it’s because I have lived here for over 20 years and consider myself more local than foreign or maybe it’s because I am just a neurotic bastard, but this comment always manages to piss me off. It’s right up there with the ‘the children are so beautiful’ comment, which I have also had the pleasure of hearing on more than a dozen occasions and which also provokes from me the same, negative reaction. I feel like saying “of COURSE the children are beautiful – ALL children are beautiful, not just the brown ones that smile hopefully up at you, wealthy foreigner in shorts and sandals and flowery shirt.” It just seems so condescending, somehow.

Like the idea of a “real Merida.”

What is the real Merida? Are we (and I am speaking as a Yucatecan now) all supposed to run around in guayaberas and alpargatas and dance jaranas with trays of glasses on our adorable heads? Are we to eat only salbutes and panuchos and ‘typical’ food all week? The mistakenly romantic idea that in Merida time stands still and sushi, malls and Office Max are somehow contaminating someone’s vision of what the city should be is, again, condescending and frankly offensive.

I am motivated to write this little rant thanks to Beryl over at gorbman.com who just had a brush with the ‘real’ Merida; the Merida that most gringos don’t have to deal with and that, for the most part, lies just under the surface of the charming mess that is modern Mexico. You can read all about her brush with the ‘justice’ system in her fun account of what happened when she ran into Big Caesar (check out her photo to get a glimpse of Big Caesar)

Put your feet up, serve yourself a glass of typical cebada and enjoy a tale of one womans immersion into the ‘real’ Merida.

A Worthwhile Cause – Emergency Medical Spanish

If you are reading this you have likely read it on another post as well. But for that small portion of readers who don’t read all the other blogs out there, here’s an interesting item that I read on my friend Debi’s blog regarding an Emergency Spanish dictionary where you can apparently find the words to express how you feel. This may sound romantic, but believe me, when you are doubled over in pain in a hospital with a 360 degree circle of Mexican nurses and doctors people asking you things the term ‘expressing how you feel’ takes on an entirely new meaning.

The book is here.

Debi’s post on the subject is on her blog.

Have a terrific Friday, everyone and enjoy the hot weather. Find a cenote, or a beach with few people. Actually, at this time of the year, stay home. It will be more peaceful.

El Que No Tranza, No Avanza – Español

This is an email sent to me before Calderón was elected. At the time there was to be a mass protest by Mexicans against the CFE in which everyone was to turn off their lights at a certain hour to deprive the state monopoly of revenues for that hour.

It is a very though-provoking email. Perhaps one day I will translate it into English.

La creencia general anterior era que Zedillo no servía.
La creencia general actual es que Fox no sirve.
Y, cuando pase el tiempo, la creencia general será que el que venga después de Fox tampoco estará sirviendo para nada.

Por eso estoy empezando a sospechar que el problema no está en lo ladrón
que haya sido Salinas o en lo bocón que sea Fox. El problema esta en nosotros.

Nosotros como pueblo.


Nosotros como materia prima de un país.


Porque pertenezco a un país donde la “viveza” es la moneda que siempre es valorada tanto o más que el dólar.

Un país donde hacerse rico de la noche a la mañana es una virtud más apreciada que formar una familia largo plazo basada en valores y respeto a
los demás.

Un país donde una persona tapa la salida del garaje de una casa, y, si el
afectado toca el claxon para llamar la atención del abusivo y hacer que
aparezca a retirar su vehículo, entonces esa persona llega, se molesta y le
reclama a uno la presión y el ruido, como si el infractor fuese uno y no ellos.

Un país donde un par de señoras pueden recorrer todo un supermercado,
y, mientras compran, hablar pestes de la moral del gobierno y del incumplimiento de las leyes, y de lo terrible de tales o cuales medidas, pero después, a pesar de que su carrito tiene 27  artículos, se
hacen tontas y se meten disimuladamente en la cola que es “para un máximo
de 10 artículos” y si alguien osa reclamarles o quejarse ante el gerente
queda ante ellas y ante los demás como un soplón, solo por intentar hacer
cumplir una norma tan sencilla. Y si es la cajera quien les señala que
deberán pasar a otra caja, inician un diálogo recriminatorio: “¿ves?, justo
lo que veníamos comentando, por eso está este país así, todos son unos flojos , etc.”

Pertenezco a un país donde, lamentablemente, los periódicos jamás se
podrán vender como se venden en Estados Unidos, es decir, poniendo unas
cajitas en las aceras donde uno paga por un solo periódico y saca un solo periódico dejando los demás donde están.
Porque si se vendieran así, El
Reforma y El Universal quebrarían en solo 3
meses.

Pertenezco al país donde las empresas privadas son papelerías particulares
de sus empleados deshonestos, que se llevan para su casa, como si tal cosa, hojas de papel, bolígrafos, carpetas, marcadores y todo lo que pueda hacer
falta para la tarea de sus hijos y, además, utilizan los equipos para lo mismo,

las tareas y sus asuntos personales.

Pertenezco a un país donde la gente se siente triunfal si consigue volarse
el Cablevisión del vecino, donde la gente inventa a la hora de llenar sus
declaraciones de Hacienda para no pagar o pagar menos impuestos, donde a
Carlos Salinas no le reclama ningún medio el que lo estén viviendo fuera
del
país disfrutando de lo que robó.

Donde nuestros diputados y senadores trabajan dos días al año (y cobran
todos los demás como altos ejecutivos) para aprobar una reforma (miscelánea) fiscal al vapor que lo único que hace es hundir al que
no tiene, joder al que tiene poco beneficiar como siempre a unos cuantos
que son los que tienen (ellos por ejemplo).

Pertenezco a un país donde las licencias de conducir y los certificados
médicos se pueden “comprar”, sin hacerse exámenes ni nada.

Un país donde, desde hace 40 años, un vehículo sufre más daños y sale peor
parado después que es recuperado por la policía que cuando lo roban los ladrones.

(ESTA CITA LA HAGO CON ABSOLUTA CERTEZA QUE ES CIERTA, SI SE ACUERDAN ME ROBARON MI TSURU HACE 2 AÑOS Y APARECIO 40 DIAS
DESPUES EN ESTADO TAN
LAMENTABLE QUE MI PAPA LO TUVO QUE VENDER COMO CHATARRA. Y ESO QUE EN LA HOJA OFICIAL DE LA DEMANDA SE ASEGURA QUE EL CARRO SE ENCONTRO 2 DIAS DESPUES)

Un país donde cualquier persona puede hacer una fiesta y poner música a
volumen majadero toda la noche, sin que haya nadie que proteste ni
autoridad alguna que les haga apagar esa música ni siquiera a las cinco de la mañana.

Un país de gente que está llena de faltas, pero que disfruta criticando a sus gobernantes, sean inútiles, o sea Fox, porque criticar a los inútiles o criticar a Fox, crea una ilusión psicológica que aparentemente eleva la estatura moral y espiritual del que critica.

Mientras mas le digo rata a Salinas, mejor soy yo como persona, a pesar de
que apenas ayer me consiguieron todas las preguntas del examen de
matemáticas de mañana. (¡Qué vivo soy!)

Mientras más le digo falso a Fox, mejor soy yo como mexicano, a pesar de
que apenas esta mañana me fregué a mi cliente a través de un fraude de cien
mil pesos que él me dio de enganche como preventa de un inmueble.

No. No. No.

Ya basta. Como materia prima de un país, tenemos muchas cosas buenas.
Pero todavía dejamos mucho que desear. Esos defectos, esa “viveza” congénita, esa deshonestidad a pequeña escala que después crece
evoluciona hasta convertirse en casos de escándalo como Óscar Espinoza o
Mario Villanueva; esa calidad humana que en realidad es falta y carencia de
toda verdadera calidad humana, eso, más que Salinas o que Fox, es lo que
nos tiene real y francamente jodidos.

No voy a apagar las luces, lo siento.

Porque, aunque Fox renunciara hoy mismo, el próximo presidente que lo
suceda tendrá que seguir trabajando con la misma materia prima defectuosa que, como pueblo, somos nosotros mismos.

Y no podrá hacer nada, igual que no hicieron nada los mediocres igual que
no esta haciendo nada Fox.

No, gracias. No apago nada. No tengo ninguna garantía de que el gritón de
Diego o el mustio de Madrazo lo puedan hacer mejor. Y mientras nadie
señale un camino destinado a erradicar primero los vicios que tenemos como
pueblo nadie servirá. Ni sirvió Salinas, ni sirvió Zedillo, ni sirve Fox,
ni servirá el que venga.

O ¿qué?, necesitamos traer a un Pinochet, para que nos haga cumplir la ley
a la fuerza y por medio del terror y la dictadura?.

A ver si así, cumplimos y hacemos cumplir las leyes desde las más
elementales hasta las de nuestra Constitución que todos la manejamos o
hacemos a nuestro modo.

Aquí hace falta otra cosa. Algo más que cacerolazos, apagones o cohetones.

Y mientras esa “otra cosa” no empiece a surgir desde abajo hacia arriba, o
desde arriba hacia abajo, o del centro pa´ los lados, o como quieran,
seguiremos igualmente condenados, igualmente estancados.

Es muy sabroso ser mexicano, y vivir a “a la mexicana”. Pero cuando esa
mexicanidad autóctona empieza a hacerle daño a nuestras posibilidades de
desarrollo como Nación, ahí la cosa cambia…

Lo siento. Pero no apago nada.
Suerte con su apagón. Pero creo que, de
todos modos, como país de verdad igual hemos estado a oscuras los últimos 70 o 90 años.

Ojalá que cambiemos todos, porque si no, cambiar de Presidentes no cambiará nada. Porque cambiar de Presidentes, sin que cambiemos nosotros, es lograr que nada cambie jamás.

Piénsalo, y, si te cuadra, reenvíalo. Es un mensaje para todos los mexicanos.

YA BASTA DE QUE “EL QUE NO TRANZA NO AVANZA”!!!!

TENEMOS MUCHO QUE HACER EN VEZ DE ESTAR PENSANDO EN ABSURDAS PROTESTAS QUE SOLO MANCHAN LA IMAGEN DE UN PAIS BASTANTE

DESGASTADA………….
________________________________________
Lic. Francisco Torrente Ibarguen
Dirección de Liderazgo Empresarial
Incubadora de Empresas
Programa
Emprendedor

Bolsa de Trabajo
Relación con Egresados
Tecnológico de Monterrey Campus Aguascalientes

And if you thought that last post was fun…

Here’s another one!

When filing your business’s annual tax declaration, you make out the onerous paperwork – well, your accountant does because the Mexican tax system is so complicated that it is virtually impossible for anyone to understand what the hell it is you are supposed to actually put in the scores of little boxes and what to deduct or declare – and you file it, paying at the bank via internet since Mexico is such a modern country. Once you have paid and received/printed your receipt, and have verified that your money has been removed from your bank account in order to help promote a comfortable lifestyle for Mexican politicians once they have retired and live in France, you think you are done right? Wrong.

It turns out that there is a little-known and never-used (up till now) in the marvelous taxation laws of this advanced democracy that states that besides filing your declaration and paying, you have to (or your accountant has to) LET HACIENDA KNOW THAT YOU HAVE PAID by means of an official letter or notification. Failure to do this will result in a $50,000.00 peso fine! Can you believe this? You pay and they already have your money, but since you didn’t tell them you paid, you automatically get slapped with a fat fine which will presumably cover the cost of Mr. Carstens weekly lunch bill.

This is nothing less than outright highway robbery and a wonderful incentive for investors to come to Mexico to subject themselves to this abuse. Perhaps the Mexican government should consider promoting the country to the International Masochist Businessmens Association, whose members might enjoy this kind of pain.

I am not making this up. I have first-hand knowledge of such a case right now. The accountant alleges that while it is technically his fault because he is supposed to be watching his clients’ back, he prefers to fight the fine legally (with the clients money of course).

Meanwhile, for your enjoyment, look for a photo of Mr. Carstens, Mexico’s Minister of All Things Taxable and believe me as you will see, he needs the money.