Finally, some good news about Mexico – The Washington Post

Inspired, Life in the Yucatan, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

For those of you who read my neurotic ramblings – and I know you are out there – and haven’t seen this, here is a link to an article from my pal Edith over at the Washington Post that summarized what a lot of us who live here feel about the place. A little sugary for me, but still, better than yet another report on a narco-beheading, a hotel exploding or a tourist losing an actual arm and a leg to a real shark (as opposed to those tourists who attend the “free” breakfast and lose a virtual arm and a leg to the time share cetaceans)

The link is here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/03/02/AR2011030205529.html

Enjoy.

A Message From the Queen to the U.S.A

Inspired, Nada que Ver, Politics, ,

Just had this sent to me on Facebook and thought it worthy of republication here. God Save the Queen.

Subject: A Message from Queen Elizabeth To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Mr Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ”like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the elimination of ‘-ize.’

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.

11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. Tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

El Pez Gordo – Monterrey Style Seafood in Merida – This One’s a Keeper!

Casual Restaurant Critic, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

After a recent – and stomach stretching – visit to the Casual Restaurant Critics favorite Merida sushi restaurant, Miyabi, who continue to remain in the running for the Slowest Waiter in Merida Oscar, the Better Half pointed out a new restaurant right next door, called El Pez Gordo (literally, the big fish) which looked very eclectic and hip. The Critic and BH popped inside for a better look and wow! The place looks amazing; a funky bar counter covered in colorful broken tile, plenty of mirrors, themed vinyl decorations and phrases on the wall and loud rock music and the most friendly of owners, who hails from Chiapas but lived in Monterrey and wanted to bring some of that cuisine to Merida.

Seafood in Monterrey you ask? Yes, and the Critic reviewed the fabulous Pacifica restaurant there.

Today, it was the El Pez Gordos turn for a visit and the food did not disappoint! Not at all, not even close. It was amazingly delicious and fresh; nothing like yet another seafood restaurant with the same old tired creations.

To start, a warm shrimp broth in a little cup to open up the stomach and get the gastric juices flowing. Then, three scrumptious appetizers and three orders of delectable seafood tacos for the Critic and his beloved Better Half washed down with an icy Coke and a spicy Michelada were enough to convince both that this was their new favorite seafood restaurant in Merida!

First up was a mixed seafood ceviche, featuring shrimp, fish, calamar and octopus soaked and cooked in lime juice. The twist here was that there was also mango, jicama and pineapple chunks in that ceviche! Refreshingly cool and different and very good. Then, a pair of calamares stuffed with shrimp, cooked in a very spicy tomato-y sauce and served on a bed of guacamole. Hot, spicy and bursting with flavor, these were the best of the three appies. The third appetizer was a crunchy corn tostada topped with a smoked tuna and mayo salad and garnished with raw red cabbage. Unusual and pretty to look at, but the tuna was a little overpowered by the mayo, although I would order this dish again without hesitation if it wasn’t for the fact that there are a hundred more little items on the menu that need to be sampled first.

The tacos were delicious and the Critic cannot, unfortunately, recall their names, but one that stands out even now, several hours later, was a shrimp, chorizo, onion and tomato concoction that came in a melted cheese tortilla. That’s right, a melted cheese “tortilla” and it was absolutely fantastic.

Service today was a little on the slow side, but not as bad as our friends next door. And the bill? About 13 dollars per person for the meal described. Highly recommended!!


– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Comforting Rituals – and a Dilemma

Casual Restaurant Critic, Inspired, Life in the Yucatan, , , , , , , , ,

Of all the comforting rituals that us humans take part in, a great proportion of them involve food, I would guess.

Here’s mine.

I come home hungry and without too many ‘ganas‘ to cook anything (rare, but it happens) and my eyes, scanning like the Terminator through the offerings visible in my fridge, rest upon a Ziploc bag containing brown kraft paper that is coddling a quarter of a chunk of Monique’s fabulous sourdough bread, made right here in the formerly white city of Merida. This is what I am craving.

Removing the spongy, dark crusted bread from it’s hiding place I slice thick chunks (I have been known to simply tear at the loaf) and pop them into the toaster, pushing the slices down since they are so thick that the toaster is gagging.

While the aroma of freshly baked bread wafts into my kitchen, I take a soup bowl and pour myself a healthy portion of olive oil. There are plenty of olive oils now available in Merida, some Spanish, others Italian and even others still of the gourmet variety from God knows where. For my purposes, however, I need the Costco jug, since it is the only one that can keep up with my consumption and still offer more the next day.

The bread is toasty and warm and my fingers burn as I move the slices to a plate.

Ripping off chunks of warm bread, I plop them into the bowl and push down hard to get all the oil I can into the pores of the sourdough. Then I pop the dripping mess into my mouth. Nirvana!

The dilemma comes when I no longer have any olive oil in the bowl into which to stick my dwindling bread stock. So I pour in some more and you know what happens; the bread runs out and I still have olive oil to soak up! So back to the remainder of the loaf, slicing and heating until a critical moment when both bread and oil are depleted and my craving is sated.

Here’s to the olive pressers but here’s even more to Monique, who bakes this stuff and offers it to the public every Saturday morning at the Slow Food market right here in Merida. Go this weekend; you’ll be so glad you did!

Offended Mexicans vs BBC Comedy

Inspired, Life in the Yucatan, Nada que Ver, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I received an interesting article on the BBC/Mexico scandal in my junk-infested inbox this morning from my dear Better Half, who in turn received it from a friend whose acerbic wit and online social commentary on life in Merida was often the target for xenophobic hate mail accusing her of being *gasp* a critical wach, of all things.

The Milenio article (available in Spanish here) commented on the recent scandal involving the BBC’s program Top Gear, in which the comedy troupe said stereotypical things about Mexicans which apparently, caused the Mexican ambassador to England to feel such distress that he fired off an official protest letter to the government denouncing the show and its “xenophobic” remarks.

The author at Milenio says, in a nutshell, that everyone that is ‘offended’ by the program should take a look at themselves and the discrimination, racism and lack of tolerance perpetrated every single day in this country, by Mexicans.

Also interesting is the debate below the article. I think the author makes a good point. What do you think?

Travel Warning – British Columbia, Canada

Inspired, Life in the Yucatan, Nada que Ver, Politics, , ,

The Mexican Tourism Counter-Propaganda Council is advising travelers from this country to avoid travel to Canada and British Columbia in particular due to the increasing risk of physical harm and possible death from overly aggressive police forces in the province.

Arbitrary beatings, kicking and assault on defenseless victims by the so-called keepers of the peace have left a rather negative impression on tourists coming to this once-peaceful country. Among recent cases is that of British Columbia resident Jeremy Packer was ordered out of his truck and repeatedly punched as he tried to exit the vehicle, for no apparent reason.

And who can forget Robert Dziekanski, who, in a state of addled confusion at Vancouver airport was tasered to death by Vancouver police.

In light of this increasing incidence of violence reported (http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2011/01/21/bc-excessive-force-police-gordon.html) along with abuse by “cowboy” police officers, the MTCPC is recommending potential travelers to this violence-torn region of Canada reevaluate all travel to that country, until the situation returns to normal and/or stability is restored.

Toks Restaurant

Casual Restaurant Critic, , , , , , , , ,

So you were wondering what that fancy building next to Office Depot in Altabrisa was going to be? A casino perhaps? No, it is a new restaurant of the DF variety and the Critic had a chance to visit the place the other day and see what all the Tok was about.

Bad pun.

Toks, whose logo comes with a clover leaf which clears everything up regarding the origin of this ridiculous sounding name (doesn’t it?) is like an upscale Vips; a Mexico City kinda place with overheight ceilings and really fancy finishes throughout. There’re carpets and polished stone floors and wood and God knows what else, as well as a menu that could have been written by Tolstoy – this thing is huge and comes in at about 7 pounds, without the ‘specials’ section featuring hot coffees and teas.

But it is comfortable and the staff is very friendly.

The Critic had some mole enchiladas which were just fine and the Better Half had some sort of giant quesadilla thing which made an impressive entrance. Hopefully this review will not suffer the same formatting problems as the previous post and some photos can be added shortly.

Toks is a great place to go if you have nothing better to do and feel like having Vips food in fancy surroundings which might convince a less sophisticated version of yourself that you are experiencing fine dining.

La Taberna de los Frailes – A Second Visit

Casual Restaurant Critic, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

On a trip to Cancun and back yesterday, the Critic and his Better Half had enough time to stop for a ‘nice’ restaurant lunch as opposed to the usual (but always delicious and eminently satisfying) Doña Tere at the toll highway isla near Valladolid.

This time, the Critic veered off the highway and landed – after some meandering among the twisting yet bewitching back streets of Valladolid – at the Taberna de los Frailes restaurant, reviewed previously by the Critic. Yesterdays visit was as good, if not better, than the first one.

The menu is a real mix of things innovative and things Yucatecan and things both innovative and Yucatecan. Think Thing One and Thing Two. No, on second thought, don’t.

For example, the Critic ordered a Valladolid Temptation appetizer. What the hell is that you ask? It is two slices of grilled watermelon with a thick, gooey semi-melted (molten?) slab of panela cheese in between. Served with a little fruit sauce dip and grilled tomatos and a sprig of lettuce
bathed in balsamic vinegar, it was completely out of the ordinary and quite delicious not to mention unexpected. Is this Valladolid? A glimpse at the crumbling stone wall of the monastery across the tiny street confirms that yes, it is.

Then there were the nachos. Thankfully ordering only this one other appetizer the Critic, who is not shy about finishing his plate, could not finish these nachos. Arriving on a very hot plate the size of a small indoor swimming pool, the nachos featured tostadas that were thin and crispy, not the thick and crunchy ones usually found here. The cheese was apparently cheddar but the Critic can’t be sure but what was innovative about these nachos is that they were made with Longaniza de Valladolid, the citys famous smoked sausage, and served with a small dish of chopped pickled onions along with the usual jalapeno peppers. Again, please be aware that the size of this platter is on the huge size and the contents will feed a small village the size of Xcunya without much
difficulty.

Better Half ordered a lime soup and Dzotobichay aka Brazo de Reina which is a Yucatecan treat that must be tried at least once during any visit to this part of the world. The tomato salsa on top was fresh and very tasty. Again, the portion was quite large.

Service, from the same waiter as on the last visit, was courteous and friendly. Prices were reasonable, in the Critics humble opinion.

Hey Dad, there’s a spider on your back…

Inspired, Life in the Yucatan, , , ,

Reading Claudette Elizondos account on FaceBook of how her backyard was invaded recently by a host of locusts, known locally as langostas, I was reminded of the time I came home with my daughters and, after parking in the garage, unlocking the door and walking into the kitchen, daughter 1 casually announced “Hey Dad, there’s a spider on your back”.

“So swipe it off” I reply, equally casual, making a swiping movement in the air to demonstrate the technique.

“It’s a big spider” replies my observant and not-to-be-ruffled daughter, who evidently has ice in her veins. “I don’t want to touch it” she adds. Daughter 2 looks on in disgust.

Now I am starting to wonder what the hell is crawling around on my back.

I take a spatula from that ceramic pot where we keep our utensils. “Here, use this” I say, handing it to her. She looks hesitant and I raise my voice. “Knock the spider off my back, OK?”

She takes a moment and then, in one swing, manages to dislodge what I can now see is a rather huge tarantula that lands on the kitchen floor with what I am sure is a thud, although it could have been my imagination firing away upon registering the size of the black hairy beast.

Without much ado, and thankful that here in Merida we don’t have that North American habit of removing our shoes upon entering our house, I quickly stomp on it and the spiders life comes to an abrupt, squishy end.

“Yuck” say my daughters.

I thank her and go off in search of a broom.