Category Archives: Life in the Yucatan

The good, the bad and the ugly. Telling it like I see it for over 10 years now.

Outraged at Tree Removal

IMG_0441 I would hardly consider myself a tree-hugger, but I do love me some trees. And to see a huge, healthy and obviously old tree reduced to firewood in a day, in order to comply with “Mover a Mexico” the federal government’s plan to build more highways and infrastructure, was so saddening.IMG_0437

Apparently we need yet another bridge/overpass on Merida’s periférico ring road and the tree was in the way of this progress and the planners strategic objective of converting Merida into another automobile-centric Distrito Federal or worse, Los Angeles.  Of course these big contracts mean big payouts and payoffs to those approving and participating in these large infrastructure projects that are so necessary to make certain segments of society feel like they are ‘modern’ and ‘progressing’.

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How much media play as a forward thinking, environmentally aware administration do you think the city could have gotten out of building a on ramp or overpass or whatever around this tree? Is it really that difficult for planners and engineers to think outside their square box? Do we even need another overpass when there is one just 300 meters away?

And before you misguided Yucatecans (there are a few out there) jump all over me and tell me to go back to where I came from, let me assure you that I am speaking as someone who loves the city and the state and can not fathom the need to emulate the ugly urban sprawl that is so prevalent in the rest of the country, instead of planning something better for our children and grand children and using the talented people we have here to come up with a friendlier, greener and healthier city.

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The Heat

“It’s not every day that you feel like actually killing someone” an overheating Jack thought to himself as he looked in vain for a way to somehow maneuver around a fat woman in a black sleeveless top and red polyester skirt featuring a prominent and evidently struggling zipper along its taut length, and her two teenage sons in jeans, metal-band t-shirts and chanclas, sporting identically gelled jet black hair that stood up in some sort of Archie comic throwback look.

They walked slowly, and occupied the entire narrow sidewalk of Merida’s calle 58, which was packed with sweltering human flesh, while alternating green and yellow buses and a swarm of white colectivos inched and honked along the street beside the seething humanity. Overhead, the sun pounded down angrily, seeming to push against Jack like a physical force. He winced, and felt the steady trickle of sweat against the small of his back. Behind him, the crowd seemed to push him forward, although he couldn’t tell if anyone was actually touching him. He didn’t want to think about.

If he had only heeded his wife’s advice not to go shopping this morning.

“It’s too hot, and there are too many people,” she had said in that irritating all-knowing way she had. Perhaps just to spite her and perhaps prove that he did not mind these inconveniences, or perhaps to just get out of the house, he had ventured out and now he was stuck in this mess.

Jack felt an elbow in his side as a mestiza complete with hipil, sabucan and small child’s forearm firmly in her grip, pushed past him and headed for the fat lady, whom she also pushed aside like a small Mayan missile, the little kid half running, half stumbling along behind her. The two Archies looked surprised but moved to the side. Jack saw his chance and followed quickly on the heels of the mestiza, but he was too slow. The family closed in again and Jack had to bite his lip so as not to yell at them in frustration. He could feel the heat of the pavement oozing through his sandals.

An OXXO appeared suddenly, it’s giant letters beckoning him inside. He swerved, almost tripping as a man behind him stepped on his heels. He glared back, but the perpetrator had already moved on. As he reached for the door, it opened from the inside and hit his hand, causing him to grimace in pain. A group of students rushed out past him and he again had to wait, somewhat impatiently, to go inside. Wafts of cold OXXO air trailed behind the students, dissipating quickly in the heat around him. Jack felt like his hair was going to spontaneously burst into flame.

The air conditioning inside the OXXO was ice cold against his wet skin and felt heavenly. Jack stopped for a moment inside the door and looked around. There was a lineup at the cash register and many students from a nearby school sitting at both of the two tables. He walked slowly to the refrigerated drinks area and stood, looking at all the options in the coolers. Finally he grabbed an iced tea – Snapple in Merida: who knew? – and headed towards the cash register. Only one was open of course, and there were about four people ahead of him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that some of the students were getting up from the table and moving towards the door. Jack decided to take a break and sat down with his icy tea, sipping the artificial peach flavored liquid and feeling his body temperature return to a safe, comfortable level, his mood mellowing from murderous to magnanimous and he smiled at the students who were very entertained by something on one of their cell phones.

 

The Casual Restaurant Critic visits Pilgreen

Pilgreen Menu

A hungry Better Half suggested this oddly-named place for lunch and the Critic found a pleasant locale, friendly service and tasty, fresh and healthy food.

This visit occurred some time ago and so the actual names of the dishes ordered are lost to time (ha ha) but rest assured that if the place is still there, and you are in the neighborhood, it is a stop worthy of your pesos, caloric intake and time.

More info can be found on their Facebook page, here.

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The hamburger was fresh, generously served and the chips were crunchy. Not much else to say except that it was a satisfying burger.

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Fresh fruit drinks of the day include pitahaya, center

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A salad chock full of goodness. Cold and refreshing and filling too.

The Uman Police Stop

On the outskirts of that large small town called Uman, to the south of Merida, there is a small retén, a police roadblock manned un-imposingly by one or two members of the Uman municipal police force, a formidable foe feared by organized crime, I’m sure.

On this occasion I was driving through Uman to Muna and the single skinny police official manning this post, who could not have been more than 18, made the up and down motions with his hands indicating that I should slow down and stop at his 4 poles and a piece of plywood shelter, complete with the economical and improvised flattened-tire-across-the-road speed bump.

I rolled down my window. It was a first for me to be stopped here in the many times I have driven this route, and I gave him a look that I hoped was inquisitive and at the same time supremely bored.

¿A donde se dirige?” was the official-sounding query that came out of his barely teen mouth. This is a common phrase from the Official State Police Handbook used by police officials and literally translates as “where are you headed?” They could just say “a donde vas” but that just doesn’t quite cut it in terms of official verbosity.

“Muna” I answer evenly.

EagerCop closes in to peek inside the vehicle and sees that I have two 12-packs of cervezas on the floor of the truck. His face lights up noticeably.

Muéstrame sus papeles” is his next salvo. I hand him my foreign driver’s license, setting down a couple of $100 peso bills on the seat beside me, and fish around for the vehicle’s tarjeta de circulacion and hand him that as well.

Debe tener una licencia de aqui” he says. “Si no, le pueden dar una infraccion.” I know I should have a Yucatan license but did not know I could get a fine for not having one. In fact I do have one, but I like to mess with the traffic cops, especially prepotente little pricks like this one, who see a gringo face and figure they’ll try a little shakedown (cars, SUV’s and trucks were and are continuing to drive past and around us as he does his thing).

Aha – lo dudo” I answer looking at him.

He looked thirstily down at the beer. I swear he licked his lips, but my memory might be playing tricks on me. The thought occurred to me that he might enjoy a cold beer.

“¿Cuantás ya se tomó?

How many did I drink? Presuming guilt is is straight from the pages of Canadian customs officials and any hope he might have had of me giving him a few cold ones just went out the window.

He’s already giving up on the driver’s license end and now wants to work the alcohol angle or so it seems so as his next question, when I answer that I haven’t had a drink and that I don’t drink and drive is “No se puede transportar alcohol, le pueden dar una infracción.”

Right. So now, in his little world where he is the almighty authority lording it over a supuesto dumb gringo, transporting alcohol is now illegal. I explain to him that this is beer for an event I am attending in Muna, that I haven’t had any and that it most certainly is legal to put your shopping in your car and move it from one place to another even if said shopping includes alcoholic beverages.

He half-hardheartedly looks at the license, the registration, the 100 peso bills, the beer.

Debe tener cuidado,” he says and hands me back the papers. I place the license along with the $100 peso bills in my shirt pocket and nod at him, biting my tongue to not tell him what a dick he is, and drive on to Muna.

 

 

 

 

Why I Don’t Read the Newspaper – a Rant

Today, a copy of the Diario de Yucatan, once Merida’s more serious newspaper, entered my home and once again reaffirmed my belief that it is far better to ignore local news in any form because hearing, reading or seeing what is ‘newsworthy’ is really just depressing and makes one’s blood boil.

Boiling Point 1

In the newspaper, dated Saturday 20 of June, 2015, the Local section had this as their top story: “Elogio de la ONU (Spanish for United Nations) a Mérida.

It turns out that someone from the UN came to Merida for an environmental Expo and made encouraging comments about the potentially ‘great business opportunities’ in the area of renewable energy production that exist in the Yucatan along with the fabulous wealth of natural resources.

Now I am not sure what planet she is coming from – although later she mentions being in the DF so anywhere looks promising after that – but perhaps she didn’t read or hear about the rapid rate of contamination of the peninsula’s ground water thanks to complete indifference by authorities and citizens alike, who have no qualms about disposing of waste into the aquifer. Or read the article by another visitor recently who was blown away by the amount of trash that can be found everywhere in the Yucatan, particularly along the so-called Emerald Coast which was named after a visit to the Yucatan by a direct descendant of L. Frank Baum. Or see how trees are cut at an alarming rate both by those exploiting them for lumber or pulp as well as many developers and residents who regard anything resembling a leaf as garbage and ‘undesirable’. Natural resources indeed. Perhaps she was referring to the abundance of limestone. We sure do have a lot of rocks.

When she mentions that “Yucatan has one of the best environmental strategies in the country” I can only wonder at how bad the other states in Mexico really are. Is there potential for wind and solar? Yes. Is it being aggressively pursued by any government agency? Not that I know of, but then I don’t follow the press on a regular basis so am not up to date on the pomp and circumstance of self-congratulatory official pronouncements. There is an ongoing, energetic program to rid the Yucatan of plastic. Kidding. And the reforestation along avenues and highways is also a priority here. Not. Especially not when there is a billboard that needs seeing.

My lethargic cat has more environmental strategies than the Yucatan.

In the article she also states that Merida has ‘buenas vialidades‘; in other words, a good road and street system. I will give you a minute to pick yourself up off the floor. What vialidades is she talking about, I wonder.

  • The multilane manic madness of the Avenida Itzaes with its lanes that are abruptly repainted at each intersection?
  • Downtown streets with its yellow curbed no parking streets that are ignored by the PAN officials who park their cars in front of their office?
  • The white-knuckle bottleneck that is the glorieta experience at the new museum of all things Mayan?

Many of us who live here would beg to differ and it is only getting worse, as the recent opening of Krispy Kreme on Montejo or a drive through the neglected neighborhoods in Merida’s south can attest.

Boiling Point 2

Second article in the Local section, is the confirmation of the construction of yet another centro comercial aka mall, this one called Uptown Center, following the accepted and malinchista protocol of naming all new and exciting commercial developments in English. Uptown Center sounds so… uptown, after all. and that’s where we all want to be. With a Walmart and a Starbucks, it most certainly will feel uptown. Meanwhile, el sur de Mérida continues to languish amidst potholes, deficient street lighting and dilapidated public transportation. What the hell, they’re poor and their apellidos are cortos so who cares.

This new mall location is a large property and it seems the Ayuntamiento has signed off on it. What makes my blood boil is the fact that Merida does not need yet another upscale freaking mall. What Merida needs is parks and green spaces for its citizens.

Imagine the city of Merida leading the way in Mexico and even North America not because of what was already there (Mayan culture, natural location – see boiling point 1) but because of what its citizens and government did to make it that way. But alas, the general interest is not in having a great, livable and healthy city; the general trend is to have as many Walmarts and Starbucks as possible, covering everything with concrete as we pursue that goal, and THAT will make us all feel like we are living in a great city.

Does this not make anyone else angry? Feel free to comment below.

Boiling Point 3

On the inside pages of the Local section, along with stories of multimillion peso frauds committed without consequence by the mayor of Yaxcaba, the usual tawdry reporting on spousal stabbings and spectacular car accidents, there is an article entitled “The Mayans; a tourism magnet”

The powers-that-be of our fine tourism infrastructure are busy promoting – in England no less – all things Mayan. Among the last names of the fine citizens representing the initiative mentioned are Bravo, Ancona, Franco, Tovar y Teresa, Gomez and others. It would seem to me that including one or two actual Mayans would be an interesting and refreshing twist to these continued efforts to milk the Mayan culture dry, that continues decade after decade, without returning a centavo to the actual Mayans living in the Yucatan today. Of course, there are many ambitious and promising projects that are announced with each new governor, mayor or president; projects with fancy logos and stationery and even official vehicles and uniforms; projects that are promptly abandoned or the funds siphoned off for a new vehicle for the office, or other much-needed accoutrements of the white-guayabera-clad functionaries with their iPhones and shiny black shoes, smiling among villagers who have been screwed over again and again and still pose for the photos, in the hope that maybe this time, the promise might be real.

As I have the opportunity to spend time in the villages and comisarías and ejidos, I see real, emaciated and forgotten Mayans every day and can tell you – without hesitation – that these Mayans do not receive any benefits from these promotional junkets.

International trips where Merida chefs prepare and serve tacos de cochinita and antojitos yucatecos; where miniature replicas of Chichen Itza and other Mayan archeological pieces are expensively shipped and displayed for foreigners who then congratulate the officials accompanying the pieces on the cultural heritage of the Yucatan. The last people to benefit from all this promotion of Mayan-ness, to paraphrase my friend Macduff Everton, are the Mayans themselves.

And that, my dear readers makes my blood boil the most; how about you?

Maybe if I read the paper, listed to the radio, turned on the TV on a regular basis, I would become inured to these myopic assaults on common sense, on human dignity and on the vast potential of Merida and the Yucatan.

Alas, (or fortunately, for my own mental health) I do not.

And so, when a newspaper comes between me and the table, and I see the absolute mierda that is occurring around me in the city and state that I love and have come to regard as my own, I rant. For I am seeing this not as a romantic foreigner who just bought a colonial in Santiago and finds the Luca de Galvez market still charming, but a long-time resident that feels coraje at the potential of the place being squandered so cavalierly.

Tropical Haiku – The Heat

At this time of the year, the Yucatan scrub forest turns brown, smoke plumes erupt and Yuum Kin turns up the volume, scorching the earth and challenging all life forms to figure out a way to deal with the battering ram of heat that threatens to crush everything in its path.

Here’s some tropical haiku on the subject.

Brush fires

The withering leaves

on crispy branches await

fire is coming

Forest animals

crunching underfoot

the deer approaches the well

a hunter awaits

Uxmal

Squinting in the heat

the tourists sweat profusely

guide is mumbling

Chichen Itza

Herds of pasty flesh

burning red under the sun

give me the beach please

El Centro

The heat from above

absorbed by cement and brick

baking us humans

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chichen Itza Sound and Light Show for Extranjeros

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Yep, there’s a pyramid under that projection!

Perhaps you have been reading about Uxmal on this blog, where the sugar coating comes off and the tourism rhetoric is saved for another day.

Perhaps not. If not, then you need to get with the program.:

http://www.lawsonsyucatan.com/2014/04/01/uxmal-what-if/

http://www.lawsonsyucatan.com/2014/05/14/6-reasons-why-uxmal-is-better-than-chichen-itza/

Now it’s time for an update on the situation for foreigners trying to see the new ‘sound and light’ show at Chichen Itza. Why anyone would want to see the further Disney-fication of the Mayan culture let alone pay for the privilege is beyond me, but apparently there are some that do like to see colored lights on the altars and temples there, so here you go.

This article is for people (foreigners) who are coming to Chichen Itza on their own, not from a hotel or a travel agency. Those situations require their own dexterities which are not covered today.

The good news is that the entry to the ‘show’ is free, monetarily speaking. Not free of effort however. Here are the steps to follow, designed by someone in an air conditioned office, unfamiliar with the idea of tourism promotion and how to treat our visiting guests once they arrive:

1) You must visit the office of Cultur (the Yucatan state agency in charge of Mayan ruins and administrator of the enormous cash flow that these sites provide) in person where you will be handed a ticket that contains a folio number. A website address is also provided for the next step. Be sure to take along ID in case you don’t look foreign enough.

2) You must then take the folio number and enter it on a web page on the aforementioned website. A confirmation screen comes up and you must print this page. Hopefully the website will be up and hopefully you will have access to the internet AND A PRINTER.

3) You then take the printed page (save our forests!) to the ticket counter at Chichen Itza where it is checked against a list for that day, to see if you are on it. If you are, hooray, you get a ticket and can go to the lineup where the ticketholders are waiting to get in to see the show. If not, well, all that previous work was for nothing.

4) Enjoy your walk to the area where you will witness this technological wonder, where you will be amazed by lighting effects splashed on the buildings. The show itself will last a whopping 25 minutes.

5) Enjoy the walk out, and back to your car. And the drive back to wherever you came from.

I hope this post has been helpful to you, dear reader. Personally I could think of easier ways to grant access to a free show, most of which involve lining up and then letting people in, but I am hardly an expert in such matters.

 

The Casual Restaurant Critic at Eureka!

Some finicky Lawson guests as well as many friends and acquaintances have all raved about Eureka and so, it is more than appropriate that the Critic take note and see what all the fuss is about.

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Once again accompanied by the ever-present and charming Better Half, the Critic visited on a Sunday and experienced this latest Italian entry into the Merida restaurant scene first-hand. And what a great experience it was!

The Critic and BH we welcomed at the door by smiling faces that seemed genuinely pleased to receive new lunch guests. This is remarkable when you consider how many times your welcome at a restaurant seems less than cordial, or perhaps at some of these places they already know it’s the cranky Critic and are preparing for the worst.

Chef Fabrizio stopped by the table and said hello and told the Critic a little about where he had worked before and so on. Friendly chit chat that just seemed natural.

The menu is interesting in that all of the appetizers aka aperitivi, all priced the same, making it easy both for customers and wait staff to figure out the bill. Salads and soups too.

But you readers want to know what the Critic thought of the food, right? Well let’s just say it was/is sublime. Absolutely lip-smacking, finger-licking and palate-pleasing-ly scrumptious.

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Mixed olive appetizer. And those garlic pieces.

To start, an appetizer of mixed olives with cured garlic (above) that sent Better Half to the moon and back, followed by an amazing mixed salad of the day and an asparagus/prosciutto/mozzarella appetizer that featured a fresh and creamy mozzarella cheese with a texture that straddled the line between fresh cream and soft cheese. You could have eaten it with a spoon and it was delicious!

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Mozzarella, Prosciutto e Asparagi

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Mesticanza del Giorno

Then, the main courses of salmon and pasta. The pasta is not the most photogenic of plates, but the Critic can assure you that this house specialty is an absolutely mouthwatering combination of flavors and textures. The pasta was a tiny bit inconsistent in texture, as in a few pieces a bit more al dente than others, but nothing to lose sleep over. The ragu sauce was so good!

The perfectly grilled salmon was dressed up with a fresh pea and leek puree sauce, and also outstanding. Even better, if that is possible, were the roasted potatoes served alongside the fish. These would be fantastic for breakfast with a little bacon a la German bratkartoffeln.

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Riccioli Eureka

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Salmone alla Flavia

And dessert? Well it had to be tried, although there was really no room whatsoever left at this point. The tiramisu is amazing.

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Eureka is on Facebook and their address is there, as well as on the sign in the photo below.

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If you are a fan of Oliva, Bella Roma or even Due Torri, you will definitely enjoy this new Italian restaurant that pushes the envelope yet again and raises the bar for anyone contemplating opening another Italian eatery in Merida. Grazie, Fabrizio e Vero!

 

Casual Restaurant Critic at Sushi Roll

What is it with the avalanche of sushi reviews! The Critic loves sushi, so no sushi place in Merida gets passed over without at least one visit form the cantankerous Critic and Sushi Roll, recommended to the Critic by the always delightful and insightful BeachWebGourmet power couple, is no exception.

Well the Critic and Better Half, accompanied on this occasion by MiniCritic and QuebecGuest, visited this new-ish sushi option located in the space formerly occupied by the defunct Sushi en Banda, which means sushi on little tracks that whizzed around the restaurant and not sushi in a gang in case you were wondering. In the Galeria aka Liverpool mall, directly above Chili’s and overlooking Merida’s only ice skating rink where you can watch the occasional hockey game or figure skaters practicing.

The welcome at Sushi Roll, a Mexican sushi restaurant chain, was cordial, and our hostess who turned out to also be our waitress, was the most pleasant person and extremely attentive to the point of almost overdoing it. At one point she took the time to stand behind each diner and fold the paper envelope the chopsticks came in into little chopstick stands.

What about the sushi you ask?

Well the Critic was less then impressed with the quality of the sushi. The rolls were colorful and nicely presented. The salmon skin roll was not salmon skin enough, with just a bit tucked into the rice which made each piece look like it had been smushed on top of a mosquito. Unagi (eel) was not warm, which is always a nice detail and was something that stood out at Hamachi and Miyabi. The nigiris were fine, but the Hamachi restaurant offered slightly larger fish portions and it was colder, which when dealing with fresh fish is a big plus, in the Critic’s never humble opinion. The specialty rolls all included the usual cream cheese which was omitted as per the tables request, but in general all were too sweet and tasted too much alike.

Overall, the service was superior to Miyabi (not a stretch) but about the same in terms of attentiveness to the needs of the table as Hamachi. The fish just tasted better, was colder (and warmer in the case of the eel) and portions were slightly more generous at Hamachi.

Prices were high, and it is probably going to be a while before the Critic goes back, unfortunately.

Enjoy the photos!

Calamari, tempura style, were fine.

Calamari, tempura style, were fine.

Lots of fruit on this one.

Lots of fruit on this one.

A little light on the eel.

A little light on the eel.

Sunset or sunrise roll

Sunset or sunrise roll

Eel and toasted almonds was less excellent than expected from the description

Eel and toasted almonds was less excellent than expected from the description

Biggest disappointment of the evening was the duck roll. Chewy, not crispy and kind of off-putting.

Biggest disappointment of the evening was the duck roll. Chewy, not crispy and kind of off-putting.

HSBC and their Deposit Machine. A Cautionary Tale.

Don’t assume, as I did, that HSBC’s automatic deposit machine works.

Wanting to make a quick deposit, I arrived at the Gran Plaza HSBC branch and found it closed, so I thought I would make my first ever deposit at the machine that said ‘quick and easy’ just outside the locked gates of the bank.

Following the instructions, I typed in the amount I wanted to deposit and, having read at some point that the machine won’t give more than $50 pesos change, deposited a few large bills, leaving a difference of $20 pesos. Also, being my first time, I deposited each bill separately and then when the screen popped up asking if I want to deposit more, I added more. Total of three bills.

The final screen indicated that I had deposited an amount different from what I had initially indicated would be the amount. In answer to the machine’s question ‘continue or cancel’ I chose cancel.

WRONG ANSWER!

A big red error message flashed onto the screen, saying the machine was out of order! No money, no deposit, no nothing. Then, to my relief, a ‘receipt’ was printed indicating the error. Something, at least. One of the tellers, just inside, told me to call the service number to report the incident and I spent the next 27 minutes (really) on the cell phone, pushing this number and that, in answer to all the options given to me by the recorded messages I was having to navigate through.

Finally a person came on who asked me my account number and name. Why they ask for the account number I don’t understand, since the recorded message already had asked for that info. He then transferred me to a second person, who asked me for my name and account number. The second person then transferred me to a third person who I could not understand as he sounded like he had stuck the microphone of his headset inside his mouth and it was extremely distorted. When I basically talked over him to ask for a better connection this third person then transferred me to a fourth person, who asked me… you guessed it… name and account number.

At least she apologized and gave me a security questions exam, which I apparently failed as she told me I needed to go to my branch and make the complaint there, because she couldn’t open my account info, seeing that I had failed the test.

The next day, I went to the nice young lady at the entrance and gave her my info and explained the case. She entered all the info and waited. Then, the ‘system’ went down and so, she was unable to complete the filing of my ‘aclaración’. She said to leave my info and she would do it later, when the ‘system’, that mysterious robotic world that has a mind of its own, came back online.

At home, I received an email that said my complaint had been registered.

Two days later, a text message came in saying that my complaint had been resolved and that I needed to go to the branch to see what happened.

At the bank, I talked to one of the ‘executives’ who looked at the case number and did a lot of mouse clicking on her computer while I watched and then said that the case had not been registered for some reason and that I needed to re-enter the information and file another complaint. Same questions, and this time the system cooperated and the complaint was apparently accepted. “It won’t take long,” she said, “they will check your claim against the money they find in the deposit machine and if there is a discrepancy and the information you have provided is corroborated, we will deposit the money into your account.”

Holding my breath and crossing my fingers, but 4 days after the machine swallowed my money I still don’t know if it still exists or if HSBC has absconded with it.