Category Archives: Nada que Ver

Casual Movie Critic – The Expendables (Including The Movie)

Another film in theaters now here in sunny Merida.

When I was younger, I always thought it would be great to have all the action movie guys together in one movie. When I was younger.

Now that it has finally happened, the result is so bad as to be unwatchable. Unless you are one of those people who say ‘I paid to sit here and I am damn well going to stay here until the bitter end’, you will probably get up about 1/3 of the way through to just plain leave the theater.

I suspect that the fact that Sylvester Stallone directed, and I use the term loosely and generously, this rotten piece of celluloid, as well as receiving writing credit for it, is the reason it is so very very crappy. From the ridiculous gratuitous violence and the Rambo style shootouts where the good guys hit everyone and the bad guys can’t aim to the cartoonish and cliche South American dictator and his minions who speak Spanish with an American accent to the ‘beautiful’ latina heroine who single-handedly leads the oppressed villagers, to the ancient (how old ARE these actors now??) Stallone, Willis, Lundgren et al acting like they are in their 20’s, The Expendables is so stupidly bad on so many levels that it is difficult to process.

Unfortunately it is not funny bad, where you could at least laugh uproariously at the screen, but bad bad, where you just sit numbly until your brain explodes and you have to leave.

This movie is entirely expendable. Do not waste your money, time or neurons on this one. It is truly the worst movie I have been in the presence of in a long, long time.

Casual Movie Critic – Wall Street 2, Money Never Sleeps (But You Will)

Once again, the Better Half is away and I have decided to see what’s going on at Meridas movie theaters.

Among the movies that are new in theaters in Merida this week is this Oliver Stone film that revisits Wall Street and Gordon Gecko played once again by Michael Douglas. As usual, regular movie critiques have already been written about this movie so I will spare you the details and give you my short opinion.

The film, IMHO, falls into the “nothing to write home about” category and to me just sort of plods along in a predictable way until the two hours or so are up. Nothing really surprising, the acting is fine but certainly not inspired and personally I found the financial shenanigans as cancer references slightly disturbing in light of Michael Douglas’ being diagnosed as having the disease. I suspect the film was completed before anyone knew he had it? Shia Lebeouf is more or less believable and the girlfriend character as well but I could not really sympathize with their situation at any point in the film. Not even the usually great Susan Sarandon had any spark in this movie. Oliver Stone himself is in there as a Wall Street dude and that Sheen guy from the last film pops in as well.

The fact that this is not a particularly exciting movie was reflected in the attendance at the giant Sala 6 of the the Gran Plaza movie theater, which contained an audience comprised of exactly 4 other people besides yours truly. I expect this movie will be taken out of Merida circulation within less than a week to be replaced with something a little more crowd pleasing.

Go see it if there is nothing better on and you are desperate for air conditioning on a hot afternoon. Otherwise, stick to a good telenovela on TV. Or better yet, have a nap.

Quick Restaurant Critiques – Vancouver, Canada

A recent visit to Vancouver by the curmudgeonly Casual Restaurant Critic featured a lot of restaurant visits, as is to be expected in a city as restaurant-filled as Vancouver. It is truly amazing how many places to eat there are – does no one eat at home? There are of course a lot of Asians in Vancouver and it is only fitting that there be a huge amount of Asian restaurants; everything from Cantonese to Vietnamese to Thai to Northern Thai to Japanese to Malaysian to…

Here are a just a few of the Critic’s notes:

Hon’s Won-Tun House

Located smack dab in the middle of Robson Street, on the West End side, Hon’s has been airlifted out of Chinatown and dropped on the most expensive piece of Vancouver real estate. The Critic went here for lunch and had a plate of BBQ duck, along with some rice and a Alexander Keiths Pale Ale. A great meal for 15 Canadian dollars. Be aware that the duck has been brutally hacked with one of those Chinese cleavers and there are bone fragments throughout. Also, the duck could have been a little hotter. But the flavour (Canadian spelling) was fantastic, the rice was hot and sticky (like a Merida afternoon in late August) and the beer cold. All plates and cups and glasses are made of that plastic material typical of picnic dinnerware.

Capers Market

Also on Robson Street, just down from Hon’s towards trendy Denman Street, is the Capers/WholeFoods market, a mecca for anyone wanting organic and free range and whole grain and gluten free. You know who you are. A great place to stop for dessert or a fresh peach when they are in season. At their bakery on this visit, they had the most scrumptious fresh cherry pie ever. To Die For. Check out their website and if you go, take a bag because that’s the green thing to do.

Sushi Mart

Almost across from Capers Market, on Robson Street, is Sushi Mart which looks interesting from the outside because of the reviews posted in the windows and the one giant table inside. It seats about 14 people and is a kind of communal sushi experience. The fish is fresh, the rice perfect and the service fast. The Critic thinks that to survive in the Vancouver sushi restaurant competition, you have to have something that will make you last, besides fresh fish. This place is just fine for a quick lunch. The Critic had a lunch special which was a large bowl of sushi rice on top of which were about 6 different types of fish sashimi aka Chirashi Bowl. Great stuff and not at all expensive or pretentious. The Critic would like some of that sashimi right now.

Memphis Blues

Finally getting away from the Robson Street/West End area, the Critic had a fantastic early dinner (early by Yucatecan standards anyway) at one of the few southern (US) style barbeque places in Vancouver, on Commercial Drive in East Vancouver. Nestled among the funky shops, the Pakistani-run groceries, the Portuguese Social Club, Italian cafes and trendy bars is this restaurant (warning – website has sound) which on the day the Critic appeared at the door, was featuring an All You Can Eat special on ribs and fries for about 20 dollars. B

eers were ordered and the Critic and his Funkified Guests chowed down on enormous ribs with extra bbq sauce all tangy and delicious and cripsy fries, washed down with cool cervezas. Not cheap, but good. Lunch for three as mentioned came to a whopping 90 dollars Canadian which is definitely not the cheapest meal one can have in Vancouver but that one meal lasted the Critic at least 24 hours.

Bon’s

Every town has it’s hipster hangouts; run down diners that appeal to the cheap, the frugal, the hip and the trendy. Bon’s, on Nanaimo Street and Broadway in East Vancouver, is such a place. There is a lineup for their 2.99 breakfast special, a price that is unheard of in Vancouver.

And it is a filling breakfast too, not some pansy-ass continental menu that passes as breakfast at so many places. And it’;s available all day, too. There is bread; 3 kinds to choose from and you get two slices, 2 eggs any way you want ’em, sausage ham or bacon and a big smackdown of breakfast potatoes that you will not finish. Coffee is extra and you may have to get up and serve yourself, it’s that busy. Same thing if you want water. Take a seat, look around at the crowd around you and enjoy. It’s the place to be, whatever time of the day that might happen to be. Check out the write-up on Urban Spoon. Photos too.

Nao Sushi

A newer sushi place, on Kingsway in sunny Burnaby is Nao Sushi. Like the Critic mentioned before, the sushi competition is fierce and there was not really anything about this place that stood out. Service was only average, not slow or unfriendly, but not OMG what great service either. And the sushi was very good, but not OMG this is SO good good. Some of the rolls actually fell apart as one picked them up with the chopsticks, something that the Critic had never experienced before. Is this a good thing or a bad thing as far as sushi goes? No idea.

The Critic suspects that it is not a good thing. It was cheaper than some of the downtown options; lunch for two came to about 27 dollars and the Critic and his Italian Cohort had quite a bit of sushi. Notice also the crudely written ‘specials’ notices haphazardly taped to the wall. Why spend all that money decorating the place and creating some sort of ambience and then plastering the mauve walls with signs that obviously were hand-lettered by a 5 year old? And the TV with the news and a toilet bowl cleanser commercial don’t help either. Don’t bother with this one, there are so many more options for sushi in Vancouver! It might be Nao but it won’t be Then.

The Critic is sure there are more reviews, but it is late and time for some rest. Thanks for reading this far and hopefully this will help on your next visit to Vancouver, providing you were not planning to fly Mexicana, which is another story in and of itself which may get a write-up soon. Stay tuned!

The Casual Hotel Critic?

Many moons ago, when this newsletter was still at a long-forgotten and now historical site called GeoCities, there was the mention of a Casual Hotel Critic whose mantra was ‘he stays there so you don’t have to’ which in retrospect, makes not a whole lot of sense.

On the road, accompanying the Casual Restaurant Critic and his Better Half on their travels through Houston and now Tucson Arizona, the Casual Hotel Critic has resurfaced and would like to tell you a little something about the hotels visited on this particular adventure.

First of all the Holiday Inn near the Galleria, in Houston. This frumpy hotel actually uses that as their location name: near the Galleria. It is near the Galleria of course, which implies that it is fancier than it could ever hope to be. It could be called Holiday Inn beside the 610 which would also be accurate and more precise, and perhaps would lead one to be less ambitious in ones expectations of this house of lodging.

I don’t know where or when the Holiday Inn name started to be equatable to cheap and somewhat run down, but that has been my experience lately with anything marked Holiday Inn. This hotel is no exception. The reception is friendly enough but casually so and one can anticipate that a problem would be met with some resistance. The room was tired, carpet somewhat worn and the beds soft which is not necessarily a positive thing but the most striking part of it were the uninviting microscopic pillows on the bed.

The general feel, what with the strippers checking out and the couple having a loud and trashy argument on the bench outside the lobby as their 8 year old son looked on, was one of cheapness. Unfortunately the price did not reflect that and one is charged for the location, which is, again “near the Galleria”.

I would advise avoiding this hotel.

Burkhas and DSW – Houston Multiculturalism

We see so precious little of the flamboyant burkha in Merida, so it was a bit of a surprise to come upon a gaggle of burkha-clad women in what I thought was the last place I would encounter this always flattering attire: a DSW shoe store just off Westheimer near the Galleria mall in Houston.

Peering intently at the sandals and snazzy dressup shoes through those narrow, rectangular eye slits, they checked out the selection with enthusiastic interest.

This amazed ignorant me, because I assumed women bought shoes to be seen wearing them, and these womens’ feet were securely hidden under their burkhas.

So enlighten me. Is it just another manifestation of the fairer sex’s addiction to footwear, regardless of whether or not anyone will see them?

Grutas de Garcia – Monterrey

While in Monterrey last week, we were looking for something to do and the two attractions that always came up, were the Cola de Caballo waterfall and the Grutas de Garcia. Both were approximately 50 minutes from Monterrey and so a decision had to be made.

The waterfall, while I am sure it is beautiful, is just that: a waterfall. And the caves, according to one former Reynosa resident and fellow Yuca (who, as it turns out, has never actually BEEN to the Grutas de Garcia!) were just caves! He said “If you’ve been to LolTun or Calcehtok, why bother with another set of caves?” Nevertheless, to the caves we went with our trusty cabbie, Miguel Angel.

The drive is not particularly inspiring; the roadside is dusty, rocky and there are myriad constructions both finished and ongoing, and none of it is aesthetically pleasing. There was not one spot where I thought, oh, this is a nice place to stop. Dusty, hot, dry and gray.

Finally we arrived at the town of Garcia, where the road narrows with trees overhanging, making it a welcome green oasis after all that boredom. Just beyond the town itself, are the caves.

A ride up a Swiss-made gondola takes you to the entrance and from there it is a cool 18 degree (Celsius) 45 minute tour in the most spectacular setting you can imagine. The photos speak for themselves.

Highly recommended!

Canada’s Harper Has Been a Bad Boy

I absolutely love this photograph, taken when Barack Obama told Stephen Harper a thing or two, after Stephen insisted that he really enjoyed the Bush/Cheney years and was sorry that they had come to an end. Before Barack chewed him out, Stephen also was trying to convince Barack that the neo-con, right wing policies Stephen was trying to implement were a good thing and that Canadians actually support him, which is of course, totally untrue.

and so, little man...

Pasta with Baked Salmon Cream Sauce

Since the Diario de Yucatan reports that Jorge Esma from Cultur is not saying a word about how the financial situation is after the Elton John concert, I thought I would post something completely unrelated and different. Even unexpected. It’s my recipe for the lunch I made at home today – spaghetti topped with salmon and cream.

Cook as much pasta as you want (this recipe is idea for 2-3 people) al dente or however soft or hard you like. There was this lady who used to keep leftover pasta in a Tupperware container in her fridge, soaking in water. Really. Whenever she felt like pasta, there it was! Just reheat and serve. If you do this also, take it out of the fridge and throw it away, for gods sake and make some up fresh!!

As the pasta is cooking, finely chop half an onion and two garlic cloves. If you are lazy like me you can now buy chopped garlic at an upscale supermarket like Superama where only the salchichoneria staff are as unfriendly and overly familiar as they are in any other supermarket. The rest of the staff is more or less friendly and helpful.

Throw the chopped onions and garlic into some olive oil in a pan and simmer over low heat. In the Yucatan, you are using a gas stove instead of one of those horrendous electric jobs they sell you in Canada or the USA; gas is the way to go if you want better control over your heat. Unless of course the brand is Mabe, which in my house is synonymous with absolute crap; if you turn the flame down to simmer those onions and garlic, you will be driven mad by the ‘tick tick tick’ sound it will continually make until the heat is back up to full power. That’s the spark/igniter doing it’s thing and, well these aren’t Viking stoves, people.

While the pasta and the onions are doing their thing, get some of those great Kalamata olives you can now find at Costco, already pitted and full of real flavor. Use about a handful, and chop ’em up and throw those in with the garlic and onions. Check the pasta while you’re at it.

Two tomatoes, also chopped, can then be added to the sauteing goodness in that pan. Stir it up a little to mix everything and ensure nothing is burning.

Remember that salmon you made yesterday? The one from Costco, a whole half fresh salmon. You roasted it in the oven at 180 degrees (C) with Montreal Steak Seasoning on it and didn’t finish it, remember? Well take a chunk of that from your fridge; about the size of a large hand, and with a fork or whatever’s handy, break off bite size pieces and throw them and all those little pieces that break off, in the onion/garlic/olive/tomato mixture and continue over low heat, stirring occasionally.

Don’t over cook that pasta. Strain ‘n’ Drain when ready and cover while you finish the sauce.

To the simmering salmon, add a half container of fresh cream. By fresh I mean not the canned variety. Alpura makes the best dairy products, from yogurt (also spelled here as yoghurt, yoghur, yoghurth, yogurth, among others) to milk to butter to cream. Speaking of dairy products, one of my favorite awful names for cheese is a brand called Gonela. What does THAT name conjure up in your mind? Anyway, stir it up until it mixes nicely and acquires some consistency. Add salt if you wish.

Serve pasta in bowls and spoon over the salmon cream mixture. Enjoy!

El Que No Tranza, No Avanza – Español

This is an email sent to me before Calderón was elected. At the time there was to be a mass protest by Mexicans against the CFE in which everyone was to turn off their lights at a certain hour to deprive the state monopoly of revenues for that hour.

It is a very though-provoking email. Perhaps one day I will translate it into English.

La creencia general anterior era que Zedillo no servía.
La creencia general actual es que Fox no sirve.
Y, cuando pase el tiempo, la creencia general será que el que venga después de Fox tampoco estará sirviendo para nada.

Por eso estoy empezando a sospechar que el problema no está en lo ladrón
que haya sido Salinas o en lo bocón que sea Fox. El problema esta en nosotros.

Nosotros como pueblo.


Nosotros como materia prima de un país.


Porque pertenezco a un país donde la “viveza” es la moneda que siempre es valorada tanto o más que el dólar.

Un país donde hacerse rico de la noche a la mañana es una virtud más apreciada que formar una familia largo plazo basada en valores y respeto a
los demás.

Un país donde una persona tapa la salida del garaje de una casa, y, si el
afectado toca el claxon para llamar la atención del abusivo y hacer que
aparezca a retirar su vehículo, entonces esa persona llega, se molesta y le
reclama a uno la presión y el ruido, como si el infractor fuese uno y no ellos.

Un país donde un par de señoras pueden recorrer todo un supermercado,
y, mientras compran, hablar pestes de la moral del gobierno y del incumplimiento de las leyes, y de lo terrible de tales o cuales medidas, pero después, a pesar de que su carrito tiene 27  artículos, se
hacen tontas y se meten disimuladamente en la cola que es “para un máximo
de 10 artículos” y si alguien osa reclamarles o quejarse ante el gerente
queda ante ellas y ante los demás como un soplón, solo por intentar hacer
cumplir una norma tan sencilla. Y si es la cajera quien les señala que
deberán pasar a otra caja, inician un diálogo recriminatorio: “¿ves?, justo
lo que veníamos comentando, por eso está este país así, todos son unos flojos , etc.”

Pertenezco a un país donde, lamentablemente, los periódicos jamás se
podrán vender como se venden en Estados Unidos, es decir, poniendo unas
cajitas en las aceras donde uno paga por un solo periódico y saca un solo periódico dejando los demás donde están.
Porque si se vendieran así, El
Reforma y El Universal quebrarían en solo 3
meses.

Pertenezco al país donde las empresas privadas son papelerías particulares
de sus empleados deshonestos, que se llevan para su casa, como si tal cosa, hojas de papel, bolígrafos, carpetas, marcadores y todo lo que pueda hacer
falta para la tarea de sus hijos y, además, utilizan los equipos para lo mismo,

las tareas y sus asuntos personales.

Pertenezco a un país donde la gente se siente triunfal si consigue volarse
el Cablevisión del vecino, donde la gente inventa a la hora de llenar sus
declaraciones de Hacienda para no pagar o pagar menos impuestos, donde a
Carlos Salinas no le reclama ningún medio el que lo estén viviendo fuera
del
país disfrutando de lo que robó.

Donde nuestros diputados y senadores trabajan dos días al año (y cobran
todos los demás como altos ejecutivos) para aprobar una reforma (miscelánea) fiscal al vapor que lo único que hace es hundir al que
no tiene, joder al que tiene poco beneficiar como siempre a unos cuantos
que son los que tienen (ellos por ejemplo).

Pertenezco a un país donde las licencias de conducir y los certificados
médicos se pueden “comprar”, sin hacerse exámenes ni nada.

Un país donde, desde hace 40 años, un vehículo sufre más daños y sale peor
parado después que es recuperado por la policía que cuando lo roban los ladrones.

(ESTA CITA LA HAGO CON ABSOLUTA CERTEZA QUE ES CIERTA, SI SE ACUERDAN ME ROBARON MI TSURU HACE 2 AÑOS Y APARECIO 40 DIAS
DESPUES EN ESTADO TAN
LAMENTABLE QUE MI PAPA LO TUVO QUE VENDER COMO CHATARRA. Y ESO QUE EN LA HOJA OFICIAL DE LA DEMANDA SE ASEGURA QUE EL CARRO SE ENCONTRO 2 DIAS DESPUES)

Un país donde cualquier persona puede hacer una fiesta y poner música a
volumen majadero toda la noche, sin que haya nadie que proteste ni
autoridad alguna que les haga apagar esa música ni siquiera a las cinco de la mañana.

Un país de gente que está llena de faltas, pero que disfruta criticando a sus gobernantes, sean inútiles, o sea Fox, porque criticar a los inútiles o criticar a Fox, crea una ilusión psicológica que aparentemente eleva la estatura moral y espiritual del que critica.

Mientras mas le digo rata a Salinas, mejor soy yo como persona, a pesar de
que apenas ayer me consiguieron todas las preguntas del examen de
matemáticas de mañana. (¡Qué vivo soy!)

Mientras más le digo falso a Fox, mejor soy yo como mexicano, a pesar de
que apenas esta mañana me fregué a mi cliente a través de un fraude de cien
mil pesos que él me dio de enganche como preventa de un inmueble.

No. No. No.

Ya basta. Como materia prima de un país, tenemos muchas cosas buenas.
Pero todavía dejamos mucho que desear. Esos defectos, esa “viveza” congénita, esa deshonestidad a pequeña escala que después crece
evoluciona hasta convertirse en casos de escándalo como Óscar Espinoza o
Mario Villanueva; esa calidad humana que en realidad es falta y carencia de
toda verdadera calidad humana, eso, más que Salinas o que Fox, es lo que
nos tiene real y francamente jodidos.

No voy a apagar las luces, lo siento.

Porque, aunque Fox renunciara hoy mismo, el próximo presidente que lo
suceda tendrá que seguir trabajando con la misma materia prima defectuosa que, como pueblo, somos nosotros mismos.

Y no podrá hacer nada, igual que no hicieron nada los mediocres igual que
no esta haciendo nada Fox.

No, gracias. No apago nada. No tengo ninguna garantía de que el gritón de
Diego o el mustio de Madrazo lo puedan hacer mejor. Y mientras nadie
señale un camino destinado a erradicar primero los vicios que tenemos como
pueblo nadie servirá. Ni sirvió Salinas, ni sirvió Zedillo, ni sirve Fox,
ni servirá el que venga.

O ¿qué?, necesitamos traer a un Pinochet, para que nos haga cumplir la ley
a la fuerza y por medio del terror y la dictadura?.

A ver si así, cumplimos y hacemos cumplir las leyes desde las más
elementales hasta las de nuestra Constitución que todos la manejamos o
hacemos a nuestro modo.

Aquí hace falta otra cosa. Algo más que cacerolazos, apagones o cohetones.

Y mientras esa “otra cosa” no empiece a surgir desde abajo hacia arriba, o
desde arriba hacia abajo, o del centro pa´ los lados, o como quieran,
seguiremos igualmente condenados, igualmente estancados.

Es muy sabroso ser mexicano, y vivir a “a la mexicana”. Pero cuando esa
mexicanidad autóctona empieza a hacerle daño a nuestras posibilidades de
desarrollo como Nación, ahí la cosa cambia…

Lo siento. Pero no apago nada.
Suerte con su apagón. Pero creo que, de
todos modos, como país de verdad igual hemos estado a oscuras los últimos 70 o 90 años.

Ojalá que cambiemos todos, porque si no, cambiar de Presidentes no cambiará nada. Porque cambiar de Presidentes, sin que cambiemos nosotros, es lograr que nada cambie jamás.

Piénsalo, y, si te cuadra, reenvíalo. Es un mensaje para todos los mexicanos.

YA BASTA DE QUE “EL QUE NO TRANZA NO AVANZA”!!!!

TENEMOS MUCHO QUE HACER EN VEZ DE ESTAR PENSANDO EN ABSURDAS PROTESTAS QUE SOLO MANCHAN LA IMAGEN DE UN PAIS BASTANTE

DESGASTADA………….
________________________________________
Lic. Francisco Torrente Ibarguen
Dirección de Liderazgo Empresarial
Incubadora de Empresas
Programa
Emprendedor

Bolsa de Trabajo
Relación con Egresados
Tecnológico de Monterrey Campus Aguascalientes

iPhone Updates and iTunes Crashes (in Merida)

Did you like how I made the title into something related to the formerly white city?

I get SO frustrated (those who know me know my penchant for slamming things that don’t work against the nearest concrete wall) with my retarded iPhone and iTunes. Whenever I try to update my podcasts, music, photos or whatever, it will take me at least 3 or 4 attempts to get the damn thing to update. iTunes continually crashes or ‘hangs’ during the update, the iPhone gets disconnected magically without me laying a finger on it, that sort of thing.

Why, as I type this I have plugged in again my freakin’ iPhone, it gets recognized by the ‘puter but no iTunes starts up.

Do any of my ‘avid’ readers have a solution before I whip this thing into the cienega at Progreso on my next trip out?

All this is happening on a PC by the way, running Windows XP.

Ahh, life in Merida. 😉